To Melania: An Open Letter

Oh - hey!

So, you actually came across this, then, by exactly what means I don’t know if it was by word of mouth or you were just net surfing or saw a google entry with an SDMB discussion about wallpapering, but regardless, you are here, now, and, well, really…among people whom, over time, I am sincerely hoping, Melania, you will come to regard as people you can trust and confide in, folks with keen, discerning ears, attuned to the vagaries of “this kind of thing”.

People you will return to, again and again.

I should say at this point that it has been said that I might not be the most…adroit? commenter here, but, in an effort to reach out and empathize, to…show that I’m an open book of understanding and catharsis, I am hoping, Melania, we can bridge towards a mutual sharing of insights and epiphanies.

So then…

We’ve all seen it, Melania. The disheartening slogging onwards, albeit with great presentation and carriage, but really, I’m sure the Sisyphean effort in doing so must be exacting its toll. We all saw, Melania, when Don looked behind at you at the inauguration…

Yes…we all saw…

But in this rarefied milieu, I’m sure you’ve come to realise that you, Melania, are Don’s main confidant, right? You are, without question, the main lifeline of reality for his moments of end-of-the-day resignation and frustration of not being able to, say, bring those pesky judges to heel, or smarting from Nordstrom’s unfashionable spurning of your step-daughter.

And, in such bubbles, I’d well imagine that the tension’s thick enough to cut with a knife. This puts you in a position, then, Melania, of being that special cipher that can create just the right wavelength for your groom to rely on and trust, that sort of “Philips Dog by the Gramophone Horn” kinda thing, whereby you can divine and tease out all the chaff and verbal detritus of his long day’s worth of Doing Things Presidential, to receive such data, and then, crucially, to re-synthesize such info that you, in turn, can relay it back to Don, in a much more meaningful, thoughtful way.

Now I won’t go speculating into all the myriad permutations of how you folks retire at night when the lights go out, considering that just the rudimentary contemplation of the prospect of nightly receivings of the descending vaguely orange corpulence should adequately suffice for our readers. Godspeed, Melania, your commendable forbearance for providing such gallant harbour.

Ok - now: You know how, Melania, one has speculated about the possibility of something going wrong with Don…Well, what happened was…one of his appointees had a sort of…well…he went a little funny in the head, Melania…you know…just a little…Funny…And, uh, he went and did a silly thing…Well, I’ll tell you, Melania…He went and advanced his egregious fourth turning num-nuttery on the addled masses…ok…let me finish, Melania - I mean listen: How do you think I feel about it?..Can you even imagine how I feel about it, Melania? Like…why do I think I’m even writing this to you? Just to say hello? Make no mistake - of course I hope to be saying hello to you more often - and not now, but ANY time, alright, Melania?..Of course it’s a friendly reaching out - I’m just letting you know that this egregiousness happened, that’s all…and of course this is a friendly missive to you…I mean listen - if it wasn’t friendly, you would never had received this “reaching out” in the first place. OK?..I’m as sorry about this as you are, Melania, so don’t go feeling you’re more sorrier than I am about this - I’m just as capable of being as sorry about this as you are, alright?

And with that, Melania, we all welcome you to appreciate, here, a ‘haven’, of sorts, where understanding, compassion and succor await, and I hope you feel it in you to reach out, in return, to share with us your thoughts, your worries, your whims…

And yes…even your choice of wallpaper.:wink:

This thread is now closed.

It is? But we haven’t figured it out yet.

Actually maybe it should stay open in case Melania sees this, and feels the need to share.

Go watch Dr. Strangelove.

Pity it was even started.