To my dear advisor: I am not avoiding you.

The BBQ Pit
1

Let’s make a few comparisons, shall we?

Your schedule: Complicated, full of telecons, trips out of town, and days taken off capriciously.
My schedule: I sit in front of my computer, in my office, all day, every day.

Your location: Varies between your two different offices, the conference room downstairs, the telecon around the corner, and other Points West.
My location: I sit in front of my computer, in my office, all day, every day.
Your method of contacting me: Leaving messages with my officemate at 11:30 PM, which usually get to me, but not always.
The easiest method of contacting me: You may have heard of email? 'Cause, you know, I’m there . . . in front of my computer . . . all day . . . every day.

How you schedule meetings: Tell me to find you "sometime early next week."Easiest way to actually have a meeing with me: Find me in my DAMN OFFICE! You know, where I am ALL DAY, EVERY DAY, doing nothing but working on my damn thesis, which we are supposed to be meeting about?

If I say, “Actually, I’ll be in my office all day Monday. Why don’t you drop by any time that’s convenient for you, and I’ll be ready to meet,” well, you don’t. Then when I finally track you down Tuesday, you cluck your tongue over how unfortunate it is we didn’t meet Monday, since you’ll be busy all day, and you’re leaving for Timbuktu on Wednesday. DAMMIT!

Dammit, you have two options: (1) Tell me by email or in person exactly when is the most convenient time in your schedule for us to meet, and I will be there, with bells on. (2) Stop by my office, whenever is convenient for you, and I will drop everything and meet with you on the spot or in the alternate location of your choice!

But what we will not continue to do is schedule Pod’s day thusly:

8:57 AM Arrive, read email, find no message re: our meeting this week. Begin work.
9:35 AM Interrupt train of thought. Check if advisor is in yet. No dice. Resume work.
10:07 AM Interrupt train of thought. Check if advisor is in yet. Office door open. Advisor absent. Check the ususual haunts on three different floors. No dice. Resume work.
10:42 AM: Interrupt train of thought. Check to see if advisor has returned. Office door open. Advisor absent. Check us. haunts. No dice. Resume work.
11:04 AM: Fetch printout. While up and about, check to see if advisor has returned. Office door mysteriously closed. Administrative assistant reports that to best of her knowledge, advisor is in New Zealand.

Etc. . .

2

Okay, listen, you have GOT to believe me . . . my stupid browser screwed up all those carriage returns. It doesn’t like forms. (Yes, I need a new browser. I’m switching to Mozilla.)

3

A professor in my college was rumored to go into the office and turn on his lights and open his door, then go back home and go to sleep. After all, he must be around because who would leave their door open if they weren’t there?

4

To sneak some time away, when I was a prof, I would leave an extra coat and tie hanging on my coat rack. When the coat and ties were not needed, I would put them in a special drawer.

I didn’t do this often since I wanted to be available for students but sometimes you just need to get away.

5

I’ve been having something like this, of the “why have you put off your major exams until so late?” type (trick answer-- because you kept going away on trips so I had to take my minor exams 5 months late, and now I MUST take majors before the summer ends, although you suggested at a late date that I spend 6 weeks of the summer abroad taking language classes and doing dissertation research not entirely related to my exam topics, while I had been planning to stay at home and read). Sigh.
Pod-- do you remember a couple of years ago when some Math PhD student went postal at the prospect of his advisor unexpectedly dooming him somehow and put an ice-pick in his head? You could find that newpaper clipping and slip it under the door. . .

6

Uggg. I’m in the posistion of being on both ends of the situation here.

“I’ve been stopping by, trying to get a hold of you!”

Uhhh, see the door? See the (standard sized) sheet of paper with my OFFICE HOURS in BIG BOLD BLACK LETTERS upon it? That even I could read without my contacts if I were standing in front of the door? :rolleyes: If I’ve stepped out for a moment (which is possible), I always put a sign on the door indicating how long I expect to be gone. (Be right back, Making copies: will be gone three years, etc.)

But then… there’s one advisor around here who is nortious for being hard to get a hold of. Office hours? Hah! Your best bet is either e-mail (if he doesn’t get distracted while writing a reply, accidentally cancel the message as he’s doing something else and thinks that he did send a reply), or camp outside his door with a snare and wait. And wait.

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