To my dear, dear friend:

[Esprix]

Sounds to me like someone’s got a problem…

( )

Esprix

[Polycarp]

I agree. Those are false idols because they are not invisible. She will be angry.

Yeah, but they’re giving out the invisible ones too. Didn’t you see them?

[magdalene]

Techchick, no offense taken. You’ve been making all kinds of sense on the boards lately.

My friend is funny, warm, and lovely in a lot of ways - she has a sense of humor about her 12-step addiction. She’s just not the best person to be around when I’m feeling low, because her “helpful” side goes into overdrive.

delphica, do you think if I sent Mothra a nice cover letter and resume, he’d reply?

Dear Mothra:

As you can see from the enclosed resume, I have five years experience managing international projects and marketing professional services in the U.S. and overseas.

Last year I relocated to Chicago to start a career in advertising. I have worked as a freelancer for many prominent advertising agencies, including Ogilvy & Mather and Stern Hall Inc. I have run agency-wide training programs for account managers and creatives. I have written and produced reports, proposals, and speeches. I have managed networking and IT infrastructure for a small agency. I am currently helping the principal of Stern Hall write a book on event marketing as a component of branding for the Association of National Advertisers, for which I will design and implement a best practices survey of brand managers nationwide.

I am proficient in QuarkXPress, Adobe Photoshop, Illustrator, Pagemaker, TypeStyler, and MS Office in both Mac and PC environments.

I can provide writing samples and excellent references.

Please, please, please give me a job. Only you can help me in this time of need.

Sincerely,
(Your fan!)
Magdalene

[Humble_Servant]

Mothra, Inc.
One Cavesofdoom Plaza
Subterranean Level
Osaka, JAPAN

December 4, 2001

Dear Ms. Magdalene:

I am in receipt of your letter of December 4 which inquires about job opportunities here at Mothra HQ. Mothra, Inc. has recently launched an international branding and image advertising and product placement campaign. We may be interested in arranging an interview with you.

Before we can proceed, however, Mothra, Inc. requires all applicants to provide specific preliminary information. Enclosed are the following items which you should complete and return to me:

1. Employment Application–note Section 4 which asks about prior experience with breath ray technology.

2. Personality Profile. We feel these profiles help us select candidates able to flourish in the competitive world of high-profile mutant business.

3. Consent to credit and background checks. You will also be asked to submit to a medical exam should you advance in the interview process. Please note that persons with implanted medical devices should not apply; while Mothra, Inc. is dedicated to providing job opportunities without regard to race, color, religion or sexual preference, Mothra, Inc. is exempted from the provisions of the Americans With Disabilities Act due to the quanitity of radioactive materials required for our business.

4. Affidavit regarding Confidentiality and Conflicts of Interest (adverse to Godzilla Enterprises).

I am also enclosing a booklet about the benefits of working at Mothra, employee policies and our dress code. Note that employees are expected to purchase and maintain working clothing suitable to our fast-paced ratings driven environment. A catalog of suitable lame/spandex swimwear is available at our website, http://www.insectsrus.com.

I am excited about your prospects and look forward to your response as soon as possible.

Sincerely yours,
H.S., Executive Assistant
Office of Public Outreach and Domination

[BoBettie]

I do not drink beyond the occasional cocktail or two with friends.

[over-reactive therapist]

Ah ha! So you drink??? I see…

::scibbles on a pad::

“In major denial about drinking problem. Probably has numerous other problems bottled up. Will attempt to recover some memories about being kidnapped by aliens”

Is next week good for you to start our therapy sessions?

Zette

[gobear]

I have to take issue with this. I am a 12-stepper, and I don’t believe that everyone needs a 12-step program. Some people do “get religion” about AA or whichever program they are in, but it’s not all or even most who do this. mags’ friend is one of those who miss the point.

Sorry,Geobabe. It’s just that I have had too many 12-stepper friends and acquaintances who need to preach to anyone within collaring range. It’s great that people who need help can get it, but leave me to my Guinness, thank you.

[Miss_Creant]

*Originally posted by magdalene *
**Techchick, no offense taken. You’ve been making all kinds of sense on the boards lately.

My friend is funny, warm, and lovely in a lot of ways - she has a sense of humor about her 12-step addiction. She’s just not the best person to be around when I’m feeling low, because her “helpful” side goes into overdrive.

delphica, do you think if I sent Mothra a nice cover letter and resume, he’d reply?

Dear Mothra:

As you can see from the enclosed resume, I have five years experience managing international projects and marketing professional services in the U.S. and overseas.

Last year I relocated to Chicago to start a career in advertising. I have worked as a freelancer for many prominent advertising agencies, including Ogilvy & Mather and Stern Hall Inc. I have run agency-wide training programs for account managers and creatives. I have written and produced reports, proposals, and speeches. I have managed networking and IT infrastructure for a small agency. I am currently helping the principal of Stern Hall write a book on event marketing as a component of branding for the Association of National Advertisers, for which I will design and implement a best practices survey of brand managers nationwide.

I am proficient in QuarkXPress, Adobe Photoshop, Illustrator, Pagemaker, TypeStyler, and MS Office in both Mac and PC environments.

I can provide writing samples and excellent references.

Please, please, please give me a job. Only you can help me in this time of need.

Sincerely,
(Your fan!)
Magdalene

**

You should also mention that you are on the official “Jewish Mailing List” It looks great on a resume.

[Geobabe]

*Originally posted by gobear *
Sorry,Geobabe. It’s just that I have had too many 12-stepper friends and acquaintances who need to preach to anyone within collaring range. It’s great that people who need help can get it, but leave me to my Guinness, thank you.

Take the test. If it indicates you don’t have a problem, then you can tell them that no lesser an authority than Alcoholics Anonymous itself has decreed it, and they may kindly bugger off. Or you can just tell them that they are violating the principle of “attraction rather than promotion” and may kindly bugger off.

People who proselytize AA bug the hell out of me, and I’m one of the biggest AA believers there are. I love the program more than almost anything else on earth–I can say with no fear of exaggeration that it saved my life–but it doesn’t work by shoving it down people’s throats. Besides, there are people out there who actually don’t have a problem with alcohol and can drink safely.

Actually, that gives me another idea: tell your well-meaning but annoying AA friends that since they have no idea what normal drinking is (since by definition alcoholics do not drink normally), perhaps they should leave it to you to decide whether your drinking is a problem for you.

[Typo_Negative]

*Originally posted by Geobabe *
**

*Originally posted by gobear *
**To the 12-stepper, everything looks like an addiction, end therefore everyone else is also an addict or in denial.
**

I have to take issue with this. I am a 12-stepper, and I don’t believe that everyone needs a 12-step program. Some people do “get religion” about AA or whichever program they are in, but it’s not all or even most who do this. mags’ friend is one of those who miss the point. **

12 stepper here, also.

Ya know, some people in recovery are very smart, insightful and practical people.

Not me, of course, but they are out there.