Damn you and your fucking family. God, I hate those fucking pieces of Puerto Rican trailer trash so fucking much. What gives them the right to automatically include me in their fucking piece of shit “Family Christmas Traditions” without even asking me? Huh? You know how I feel about Christmas. Hell, the only reason I celebrate it is for milliAmp. If it weren’t for him I wouldn’t even put up the fucking tree. And yet when I try to graciously bow out of your fucking family’s secret Santa I am met with stares that make me feel like I am doing something wrong, when they were wrong all along for not even asking my permission to include me. And you, my ever-loving wife, joined in on the herd mentality and started to pounce on me for not respecting your family.
Well, you know what? Fuck you and your family. What gives them the right to try and push their holiday shit on me? And then they start telling me how wrong I am for trying not to be more in tune with the holiday spirit and that families shouldn’t be at each other’s throats because that is not how we should celebrate Jesus’ birthday? Wake up you dumb ass, Christmas is now a commercial holiday, one step above a Hallmark Holiday.
So in closing, fuck you and your family, I hope you all end up at each other’s throats on Christmas day for one reason or another, I mean, its not like it hasn’t happened in the past.
So, Amp, how are things at home? 
Put your analyst on danger money, baby, now.
Merry Christmas!
I’m glad you mention that they’re Puerto Rican. That changes the whole meaning and tone of the rant. Everyone knows that their ethnic heritage makes tons of difference.
Considering how many people say white trailer trash and no one thinks anything of it I don’t see how saying Puerto Rican is any different?
I think somebody’s wife needs to degauss him more often…
There are plenty of groups seeking to end the oppression of ahem European Americans. David Duke runs one, for example, called, fittingly, European-American Unity and Rights Organization. If you’re like me, and want to see the day when European-American have their own television networks and shows, and when a certain percantage of college students are European-American, you will contact your local chapter and join up.
And if you’re smart, like me, you won’t post a LINK to any of Duke’s chapters. Just sayin’.
Out of curiosity: Europeans, weren’t they the guys that came to America and wiped out thousands of Natives? Hoo yeah, they need all the protection they can get. :rolleyes:
Of course, I now realise I could just as well be the most wooshed guy on the boards right now. Oh well.
Coldy, I think the above post was dripping with sarcasm. If so, then welcome to the newbie. If not, then I guess we’ll find out soon enough.
Guys, having followed Grimmy’s brief career here at the SDMB, I can say with certainty that he was being sarcastic. So “Whoosh”.
Well, the points are still valid, dammit. No links to racist websites. And no bitchin’ about how hard it is to be white.
[sub]So I got wooshed. Quit yer snickering, you bastards.[/sub] 
The answer is: a cave. Go into one, put a rock at the entrance and mark the days off with your fingernails on the wall. Come out again after New Year Day. Do this and everyone wins.
Unlike the rest of you bastards, I want to voice my support. Amp, just cause you married into the family doesn’t mean that you have to put up with their traditions. As long as your wife understands where you’re comming from and can put up with it the rest of em can go to hell.
Fucking depressing time of year anyway
That’s easy for you to say! You’ve never experienced the agony, the discrimination, the name calling! What do you know about it, Coldfire? Oh, what I wouldn’t give for a tan line!
Amp, with all due respect, chill the fuck out. I personally come from a family where I’m not allowed out of ANYTHING without a major guilt trip. I love my family; I put up with the tradition shit because I know that it means a lot to them. Now that I’m older, I can say “I don’t want to do this” and get a generally bitchy-but-not-prohibitive response. I choose not to participate and live with it, and I certainly don’t try to piss on their parade. Maybe to you and the rest of the country, the holiday has assumed a Hallmark aura, but to them, it still holds deeper meaning.
And, incidentally, if you’re calling them “fucking pieces of trailer trash,” then your wife is right; you don’t respect her family.
Oh, I got a better one. You’ll have to spend one more
Christmas with the dreaded Puerto Ricans, but it’ll be worth it.
Memorize this rant and then, when your wife’s family has trapped you into one of there fucking family tradition shit, start reciting it really, really loud while waving a gun.
Are you saying it’s not O.K. to badmouth white people, put fine to do it to Puerto Ricans?
Ok, ok, let me start off by saying that the Puerto Rican thing is no big deal. I’m Puerto Rican, they’re Puerto Rican, no big deal.
Secondly, my rant came out of the fact my extended family can not respect my customs and the way that I celebrate the holidays because of the fact that it clashes with the norm.
And thanks CRorex. Glad to see someone here focused on something other than the Puerto Rican thing.
Man, I wish my in-laws did the Secret Santa deal. Then you only need to buy one gift.