Gotta side with Trunk on this one.
The OP sounds like a schoolmarm. If these guys party too hard for you, find a more sedate group of friends. That’s what college is for - finding a nitch where you fit in best. Unless of course, hand wringing and den mothering is your nitch.
At the end of the day, it isn’t your problem and it is none of your business. If they drop out of school because of it then maybe they will learn that the fucked up. If it is causing you that much grief, find another group to hang with. I had a bunch of friends in college like this, hell I was sorta like this as well. Maybe not to the extremes that they were, but I grew up and kind my life in order.
Voice your opinion to them. If they don’t listen, then move on. Life is too short to be worrying about what you can’t control.
We had co-ed bathrooms even.
Ah, freshmen…
Yep.
Which part of none of her business do you not understand?
Good
Nope. None of your business
Doesn’t matter. None of it is anybody else’s business.
Greathouse, what exactly is the OP doing wrong here? She genuinely cares about these guys, sees them acting in self-destructive ways, and is venting about it.
Partying hard is one thing, but they’re all on academic probation. If her school is anything like mine, you get one term to get your act together when you’re on probation, and you’re out of the program if you don’t show improvement.
Spoken like a true druggie.
I think it IS her business. Does she have no say about what goes on around her? Drugs = drug dealers. Drug dealers = low-life criminals. There’s gotta be a line somewhere.
I never said she was doing anything at all wrong. The only time I piped in was when someone suggested that she mention it to an RA. If she has a problem with what they are doing then she should distance herself from them. Anything beyond that is sticking her nose in where it doesn’t belong.
There sure does.
At her own dorm room door.
Clearly
And that is why you would be wrong.
Sure. The line is to stop hanging out with them. If it bothers her, then she only needs to remove herself from the situation. Anything beyond that is her not minding her own business.
She’s expected to accept drugs on campus? Is that in the college brochures?
I know it’s basically a given, but you don’t have to ACCEPT it. It’s illegal. It’s undoubtedly against school policy. I’m not saying all laws and rules are right, but I agree with the drug ones.
I don’t even go to a co-ed school.
:smack:
This is the quote that was supposed to accompany my above post.
Maybe the lack of women is getting to me.
For those telling the OP to cut and run, I’m glad you are not my friends. I expect my friends to get my back when I’m falling down, and my friends expect me to get their backs when they’re falling down.
Getting booted from university is falling down. Smacking people in the face with a dose of reality is watching their back. You probably can’t cure someone who doesn’t want to be cured, but you don’t let your friend dance a jig on a ledge without putting out your hand to steady them. And you keep that hand out until they take it, or until they fall out of your reach.
That is being a friend. Not an acquaintance…a friend.
Yes, by all means, she should tell them shouldn’t be getting high. I’m sure that will do the trick. They will see the error of their ways and drop the pipe like it was hot.
Or she could tell them they shouldn’t be getting high and then watch as they tell her to go grow dick and suck it. They left their momma at home when they left for college and they really don’t need anyone else trying to step into the role.
I think the second option is much more likely. Either way, the problem is solved. They will either jump right in line and stop getting high or they will tell her to go get bent and continue along as normal without her being around to have to worry about it.
That’s what we had, in the 80s. Separate bathrooms though.
I worry about a friend of mine and his drug use too, because he has a really good job but they could drug test. He insists they won’t without warning, but can he really be sure? It’s none of my business since it doesn’t affect me, but I can still say I care if he loses his job and crashes and burns.
monica: If you don’t like the guys’ lifestyle, don’t hang out with them. But all this melodrama is rather absurd. Personally I’d rather hang out with druggies than someone who loves, say, singing opera. But that’s just me.
Hang out with whoever you want, but get off that high horse and quit pretending that their personal recreational choices are any of your business.
The only thing you mentioned that really sounds like it’s anybody else’s business is the DUI. Driving drunk can kill innocent people, and is totally wrong. But other than that, what the heck is the big deal?
And, by the way, since you ‘slept with’ E but don’t seem to have been dating him, you’ve been engaging in your own non-risk free behavior. Do you need an intervention?
Actually, last time I checked, alcohol and/or tobacco kill more people than coke, heroin, meth, and crack combined, each year. Not that we should return to another era of the first wave of Prohibition. (And don’t kid yourself, we’re currently in the second wave).
If you really care about them, get over your hangups and try to hang out with them when it’s fun for you. If you don’t like being around people tripping, and not everybody does, then fine, be somewhere else then. But if you don’t feel like it, ever, simply say so. Just don’t try to cop a moral trip.
Mmm hmmm. And what “extent” is that, exactly?
Spoken like a true D.A.R.E.Bot
You’d be wrong.
Not if it means regulating what other people put in their own bodies as long as they’re not harming her or her property.
Hah. How about drawing the line at silly gritty half-baked TeeVee steryotypes? There’s nothing inherently more “low lifey” about selling pot, or LSD for that matter than selling hamburgers. The only reason drug dealers are criminals is because we’ve criminilzed their bussiness. So these guys are buying drugs from ~gasp~ dealers. So what?
Nobody experiments with drugs; some people take drugs. I hate that stupid euphemism: nobody ever “experiments” with beer or cigarettes.
The purpose of this experiment was to see if skulling a dozen luke-warm Pabst in under 17 minutes would first cause the subject to slur, “You’re my best frien’, wanna fuck?”, upon rejection make a maudlin and teary declaration that no-one understood him, and then pass out on the bathroom floor in a puddle of his own urine and excrement.
The results were a qualified success, but need to be repeated with a more rigorous experimental protocol. I propose to test the effects of smoking a fattie while listening to Led Zeppelin IV, with the hypothesis that it will cause the subject to mutter, “Shit, that’s deep”, giggle a lot, and then eat a packet of raw instant noodles. As a control, Subject A will be given nothing to smoke, while to institute a double-blind procedure, one subject will inhale nothing but hedge clippings, while another will toke on some juicy bud: naturally, the observer will be unaware of which subject smoked which until after the experiment.
If my hypothesis is demonstrated, I propose to conduct further research into whether Speed makes the subject a paranoid twitchy arsehole who won’t shut up about his undergraduate philosophy course.
I bet my stash ‘momma’ (and papa) are the assholes mailing in the tuition checks and replenishing the account tied to the debit card. If the boys were paying their own freight, they could only afford (and have the time) to get fucked up on Saturdays.