To the Clowns in IT

[Kimballkid]

@DrumBum

the tech was to delete everything on the pc, reinstall the operating system, and return it to the user. The user then had to install all the programs from media and configure all the settings, a task that usually consumed most of a day.

That seems to be the modus operandi of the helpless desk here, they never try to actually fix anything.

[dropzone]

An ingenious solution for IT people: - YouTube

I love that show because I know (am?) those guys and they have a real Altair and Commodore PET on a shelf

[Tapioca_Dextrin]

To the Clowns in IT:

if we ask you to install new software on 5 new laptops so we can start a training course on Monday morning. If we tell you a week in advance. If we include the correctly filled out work order could you kindly not turn up on Monday morning at 9 o’clock and look clueless.

[Inna_Minnit]

We have two main programs we use. For whatever reason, logging out doesn’t always end the session. I can’t do anything without them. I have to call IT and have someone unplug my session nearly daily. There are easily 400 users on the system. Why don’t they build us some sort of app that we can do it ourselves? I have suggested it. Nope not gonna happen.

[Sparky812]

@Tapioca_Dextrin

IT Clown 1

It’s a good idea to have a password that cannot have two consecutive letters

IT Clown 2

The password for my software needs two special characters

IT Clown 3

All passwords need to be changed every week

IT Clown 4

My program needs a username that is not your corporate ID, your email or a dictionary word

IT Clown 5

Your password needs to be changed. It cannot be remotely close to any of your previous 127 passwords

IT Clown 6

I need a password solution that isn’t any way similar to the previous 5

If you think I’m exaggerating, well maybe a little…

@Spiderman

You forgot:
IT Clown 7
We’ll send you email reminders to change your password 14 days before expiration when it’s only a 30-day password to begin with.

IT Clown 8
My program won’t tell you when it’s expired; you just won’t be able to sign in & guess that it’s because of an expired password, requiring you to make up a new password on the fly; typically late on a Friday afternoon when you won’t use the system for the next few days.

IT Boss 1
Do not under any circumstances write down the password that complies will all of the above rules. You should immediately commit to memory this random combination of capital/lower case letters, numbers, & symbols that don’t mean anything to anyone, including you.

You forgot my favorite…

IT Clown 9 - You have used that password before, please enter a new unique password.

I have several accounts which all require password resets periodically and I’m running out of kid’s names, pets, birthdays, etc…

Funny, I’ve had the same password at my bank for a decade or more.

IT Clown 10 - You are not authorized to access the electronic FAX account or reset the password, please consult your office administrator for permission!?

First, my office administrator works for me.
Secondly, she is a 10 month employee and takes her summers off so I wouldn’t contact her even if I could.
Thirdly, who the fuck sends sensitive and/or confidential information by FAX!? The FAX machine is on the front counter where anyone who can read could access it.