That’s it? I wrote the Holy Bible. Although the editors modified my ending where Jesus rises from the dead with a thirst for vengence and an AK-47.
hehehehe 
That’s it? You wrote the bible?
When I etched my hieroglyphs in the walls of my cave, my publisher sold the whole cave and fed me to a mastodont.
To Kill A Mockingbird must have taken me close to a year to finish. Still that’s only about half of what I spent on it’s sequel, To Kill Two Mockingbirds And One Of Those Fuckin’ Crows.
hahahahahahaha
It has come to my intention that I recently came under a bit of fire for “attacking” poor Mr. Scylla in this thread. There was quite a bit of righteous anger directed my way, and that thread is closed now, so I can’t respond over there. In the interest of fighting some ignorance, let’s look at what actually happened, shall we?
Scylla posted one of his patented “I’m writing for an audience” essays. In the interest of honesty I’ll say that I personally find that some of his stuff is quite amusing and well written, sometimes what he writes is overblown, and sits there looking like it should have a tag on it that reads “Freshman Composition 101”, and sometimes his writing dances across my monitor, yelling and waving a sign saying “Look at me! I’m writing! Hey, look over here! Author at work!”.
Now a new poster, one BobNewby, came in and made a bon mot about the OP. Several people commented, and he came back by quoting some of the more lurid passages from the OP and several of the replies in the thread, and then asked “What is this? A purple prose contest?” Which prompted my infamous reply:
Well apparently I put a coyote in the hen house with that one! The responses came thick and fast:
There were other replies, and a good time was had by all and sundry roasting me until the thread was closed. What all of you seem to miss, completely, is that my statement in that thread wasn’t about Scylla at all. Go back and read it again, this time for comprehension. I was talking about the “Cult of Scylla”, or those posters who automatically fawn over and defend anything posted by Scylla regardless of it’s content. As I’ve already said, personally, I find Scylla’s writing up and down, sometimes good, sometimes not so good, overall I’m neutral on Scylla as a poster. As for the rest of y’all who were so quick to leap on me…
Thank you for proving my point in a most eloquent fashion.
This OP has been Purple Prosed by the Scylist.
Way to miss the point. Firstly, style is different from punctuation and grammar. It’s much less trivial to analyzing a piece of writing.
Secondly, Scylla needs to know his audience. Not everyone here is his friend.
When you’re having a hard time, you can depend on your friends not to say “I told you so,” you can depend on your friends to empathize or sympathize. On an internet message board, not so much. We can and do question Scylla’s motives, and he has only himself to blame for trusting anonymous people behind keyboards who didn’t necessarily earn that trust from him.
Pffft…best I come clean.
Some of you may know me better by my nome de plume, Miguel de Cervantes y Saavedra.
Yeah, I’m old. So what?
Dude! Cool! You can finally settle that bet for me! This Sancho Panzer guy, ya know, was he like, gay?
Not exactly. Hard-up is more like it. Then again, what German tank wasn’t?
Bingo! There are people on here with such a petty personal grudge for another poster, that they’ll take any opportunity to rag on him, whether it’s appropriate or not. Then when they get called on it, they’ll hem and haw and bitch and moan about how it’s not really about a personal grudge. No, it’s about the proper use of the forums – even though there are moderators around to take care of that kind of thing, and forums set up to talk about how the message boards should be use.
But wait no, it’s like Weirddave tried to say in his OP, it’s not a personal grudge, it’s about how there are a bunch of fawning sycophants who hang on Scylla’s every word – which means that none of us have matured past high school popularity contests.
And then of course people (not necessarily kung fu lola, as far as I know) go and bitch and moan about how everybody’s all pussified and the Pit just ain’t what it used to be. The way I see it, you got a bunch of snivelling jackasses who got so annoyed by another poster’s posting style (and whatever stupid internet grudge they’ve been nursing for years) that they couldn’t just roll their eyes and let it go; they just had to post about it. And then you have a bunch of posters pointing out what sinvelling jackasses they’re being. Seems to me the Pit’s working just fine.
No, when you’re having a hard time, you can depend on people who aren’t total petty, immature, self-righteous fuckheads not to say “I told you so.” You don’t have to be “friends” with someone not to be a total asshole to him.
If you want to be a bitch to people, that’s your perogative. Just be prepared that people are going to tell you you’re being a bitch. Don’t act like you’re being all noble and that Scylla only has himself to blame – at some point, you’re going to have to take a step back and ask yourself whether “questioning someone’s motives” entitles you to pointlessly shit on them when they’re down. You can trust anonymous people behind keyboards to act like adults. It means you’re disappointed when they don’t, but it’s better than turning into a bitter, paranoid old twat.
I’m so fucking sick and tired of the lengths that people on the SDMB will go to to defend, justify, and rationalize being jerks and assholes.
Well said, SolGrundy.
As the author of the bible, I do advocate being kind to others.
We would be blessed if friend FinnAgain would take his galling criticisms of us to another Pit thread. :struts out:
Listen, I’ve felt my share of frustration at the elitism etc, that goes on around here.
I am just of the opinion that it’s not a crime to tell someone their pompous, overblown writing style isn’t the most sympathetic thing in the world. IMHO, Scylla’s style can sometimes be counterproductive - it seemed in that thread that what he was saying wasn’t as important to him as how he was saying it, and that resulted in making him look like an attention whore. YMMV.
I’ve seen it before, of course, but it always surprises me how small, mean, and petty some members of this board can be.
“Ooo! Look at me! I don’t like his writing style, so I’m perfectly justified in kicking a man while he’s down!”
Congratulations. You’re an ankle-biting fuckstick. Hope it makes you happy.
Okay, Bippy, how the hell did you do that? Is this a speak-of-the-devil thing?
Great user name, too; too bad it was doomed!
Ummmm, good point and all, but you forgot to mention that you’ve been published. I think The Iliad and Beowulf are still available.
Ok, this’ll put me at the front of the hand basket, asking for directions, but it’s been one of those days.
Q. Was that the original Christbo: First Blood or the sequel that came out around Easter?
Yeah, it’s weird. Apparently the ideas of just plain being kind to others and not being a jerk are matters of some dispute. Be careful you don’t find yourself stabbed and nailed to a cross for your extremism. Some people don’t take too kindly to your oversensitive, bleeding-heart, pussified viewpoint.
kung fu lola, I couldn’t possibly respond to you better than SolGrundy did, so I’ll just adopt his response.
Well said, SolGrundy.
So, I’m going through this really tough period right now…ever swim and swim in hopes of touching the horizon? Well, it’s not like that at all – ‘cause, you know, that would be pretty fuckin’ dumb thing to do. Have you ever fallen and felt like you couldn’t get up? Then you were probably doing a stupid commercial, because that’s not what I feel either. Has your chest ever tightened and your breath come in painful spurts? Get to a hospital, pronto, sounds serious. See, my angst is more on the existential side, best expressed by black turtleneck and color-coordinated beret, fag dangling from lips, rising smoke column giving me a perpetual squint – although I suspect cronic constipation might have something to do with that as well.
What to do? Where to go from here? Do I really want to join the Puppetry of the Peni? So many questions, so little time, so much pain.
Be gentle with your replies, please. I don’t think my tender Bohemian soul can take much more…OTOH, I am a man’s man, so bring it on, ya bunch of pussies!
See what I mean? It’s all so damn difficult!