Cool. In light of the current debate, I figured it warranted mentioning. Funny, the difference between theft and robbery in my mind is quite similar to the difference between statutory rape and plain old rape (I wish I could think of a better way to differentiate the two). The element of force makes a bit of difference in the seriousness of the offense.
Just an observation from a fellow law student. 
Craneop2 didn’t mention any of these things. I wouldn’t assume by default that Craneop2’s sister’s likely to be or be doing any of these things.
But a social worker could be:
a drug user,
a delinquent,
has a warrant out for her arrest,
couldn`t care less,
the 21 year old is social worker’s boyfriend,
social worker got paid off,
social worker got threatened
“If you loved me, you’d do this” Is that not the classic warning that what you’re being asked to do isn’t right? I mean, when I was 14, in 1986, I had seen about 30 different afterschool specials and videos in school about peer pressure and that’s always what the “bad guy” said:
“If you were cool, you’d smoke this joint” “If you were cool, you’d drink this beer” And the Good Kid’s reply would be something like “Well, I guess I’m just not that kind of cool.” Isnt that message? That’s what you were supposed to say, and then walk away. And alternately, “If you really loved me, you wouldn’t ask me to do something I’m not comfortable with.” Then you grab your handbag and toddle home.
I’m a girl, and when I was 14 I didnt equate sex with love. My single parent mother made sure I thought of sex as something very momentous and that I’d better be damn sure because it CHANGED your life and you were never the same person again. By the time I figured out she was over-reacting just a bit, I was past the jail bait age. I had HORRIBLE self-esteem at 14, no father figure, and STILL “If you really loved me, you’d…” would be very transparent to me. I’m sorry that for some of you girls out there, those statements got to you. And I’m sorry that it hurt. That really really sucks to have trust like that and then have it dashed.
As to the OP, authorities won’t necessarily help anything but your anger right now. Your anger is justified, you have a lot of love for your niece, and I am glad things are calming down a bit. I think your sister is handling it the best she can.
SimonX, the situations I presented were not intended to be only directed at the OP but to be used as general points to consider for ALL cases were people think that the decision be best handled by the girls` parent(s).
I agree with you… the social worker could also be influenced by certain things, but the chance that any bias will have a direct influence on any particular case is pretty low. Much lower than any biases involved in a three-way relationship involving the Mom, the daughter, and the boyfriend.
However, I dont think we want to get our social workers involved in deciding who in the community will be prosecuted for statutory rape and who wont,- for various reasons.
If this were the case, then his niece’s older lover would be the least of his worries concerning her. He’s said nothing to indicate that his sister wasn’t a loving, concerned parent and I’ll go on the assumption that she’s normal.
You’d want a social worker to make a call versus a parent? I completely disagree! (Unless, of course, the parent was the problem.) I’d lay down my life for my daughter. There’s no social worker in the world that could possibly love my daughter as much as her nor anyone who would want to protect her more than ME. The OP’s sister called the school and alerted them to the boyfriend. She has been forbidden to see him. I’m sure she will be watched VERY closely from now on. That sounds like a mature, reasonable solution to a crappy situation.
And if he continues to pursue her, then you go on to Plan B, which may indeed involve the police.
BTW, I’m very relieved to hear that no baby is in the picture. Thanks for the update.
Craneop2,
Congrats on the news about the lack of pregnancy. While sex with a fourteen year old is disturbing, many woman have moved past having had sex at fourteen (even under coercive and less than ideal situations) to have it become a footnote in their lives. This may even turn out for the best - as your sister’s eyes have been opened and she may begin to communicate better with her daughter. Babies are life changing and almost never become footnotes.