Let me make this as clear as possible: I (and others who have contribued to this thread) don’t want male strangers staring at my naked body because it makes me uncomfortable. This is not something that I can just get over. It’s not something that makes me immature or less than adult. It makes a me a product of the society I’ve grown up in.
I’m not even really all that hung up on nudity. I’ve been casually nude in a mixed group of adults in a safe environment, and I’d say it was a positive experience for me. I fully agree that society would be a better place if nudity were not taboo, and if we were all honest and straightfoward about the human body and could appreciate it in all its forms.
But that’s not how it is. And parading around naked in front an unfamiliar nine-year-old in the hopes that he’ll get bored by it is not my idea of a step in the right direction. “Maybe, just maybe,” it’ll prevent the kid from being sexually maladjusted!?? Or maybe, just maybe, due some of our society’s unfortunate attitudes about sexuality, it will be a damaging emotional experience for him. What’s your background in child psychology? Can you tell me which “just maybe” is more likely?
And even if it would be beneficial, when did I, the user of a women’s locker room, suddenly aquire a responsibility to help strangers out with their kids’ sexuality?
There’s a weird attitude from some people in this thread that hey, if I’m not bothered by it, anyone who is bothered by it has problems and/or is immature. Try to be a teeny be sensitive, here. Have you somehow failed to notice that, as far as our society goes, you’re in a distinct minority? I’m not saying that makes your attitude about nudity wrong–far from it–but try to have a little consideration for people who aren’t as comfortable with their nakedness as you are. Part of making people more comfortable about nudity is not pressuring them, or putting them in a situation where they’re exposed to people they aren’t comfortable with. Having a strange little kid stare at me, whatever the benefits or dangers are to him, makes me ashamed of being naked. How can that be productive?
I’ve thought about this. As a straight woman, I feel equally very comfortable changing in front of a straight. I would feel only slightly less comfortable changing in front of a lesbian woman (that said if I knew her, I wouldn’t feel uncomfortable at all, and also if I didn’t know her, I probably wouldn’t even be aware that she was a lesbian, so again, I’d feel fine).
I would feel reasonably comfortable changing in front of a gay man (again, whether it was a personal friend or not makes a big difference).
I would however feel considerably uncomfortable changing in front of straight men in most circumstances (unless it was a boyfriend or something. Or if I was in the army. Or it was a medical emergency. Or a doctor etc).
No problem. This is America, we have “family” dressing rooms (I actually have no idea what this is, growing up in my local “Y” we didn’t have these). I already said upthread a person should go with the flow where they happen to be, and the woman should not have brought her kid in there.
But, this thread is getting into what I see as arguing over minutiae. I got fustrated with that & posted. I still haven’t learned to “post before coffee.”
You’re in an environment where you don’t have to undress in front of kids & you were forced to, you have every right to get pissed. I didn’t intend to attack you, just state my point of view in maybe a less than sensitive enough way. That’s always been a problem when typing your thoughts on-line instead of expressing them in person.
I would never deny you your privacy when you’re in an environment where you’re entitled to it.
That said, my very humble opinion is still “get over it.” But, you have every right not to, and I’m not denying you that right.
See, thing is, lev, I’d love to just get over it. I recognize that being a prude about naked flesh is stupid, backwards, and counterproductive. I’m afraid it’s not as simple as just deciding not to get upset over it anymore. You may not mean it as a personal attack, but that’s sure how the phrase “get over it” always comes across to me. It means that the problem isn’t really that difficult to overcome, so the only reason that the problem exists is weak will or stupidity or perversity.
There was n’t a family changing room at our pool.
However, the situation is moot as next year he’s too tall to be in the fun interactive section and I dunno if he’ll want to go in the 4 feet side.
If so, he will change in the mens room, even thouigh he just wears his suit there anyway.
Slightly different situation I guess, but at times, yes I do bring my 11 year old son into the women’s dressing room. We have a family room at our rec centre, however, said centre is primarily set up for people with disabilities, although anyone can use it and at times there are great hoards because the water is warmer than any other city pool.
Often times the family room is full of wheelchairs or big groups like birthday parties, and when that happens, I bring my son into the women’s and go into one of the curtained cubicles. He’s not wandering around winking his willy at anyone, nor is he checking out boobies. Mostly, he’s fighting me getting him dressed.
I don’t have a huge problem with kids in dressing rooms, if the parents have some control. I keep my son with me, behind the curtain until we are ready to go and then we leave together, right out the door.
I have, however, been approached in a ladies washroom in a restaurant when I’ve brought him in with me, but because of the fact that he does have a disability and does have to pee, often when we are alone, I have no choice.
I really dread as he gets older and have talked to several people about how I’m going to handle these situations when he’s 15.
One way you might handle the restaurant situation is by asking an employee to close the restroom to others until you and your son are finished That’s what my mother’s done the few times she’s been out alone with my father. (since the last stroke, he can’t use the toilet on his own), It will cause a slightly longer wait, but I believe most women would prefer the wait to emerging from a stall and finding a man in the ladies’ room.