Just got back from taking a friends three year old girl to see Bee Movie (if you like Seinfeld, not bad btw), and as I’m taking her to pee in the mens room as I’ve done a hundred times before without anyone having a problem, I hear a woman from outside say “little girls can’t be in the mens bathroom”, which I take as she thinks she’s wandered into the mens room alone by mistake, as she was a few steps behind me. As the door was a bit ajar, I could hear her get right outside the door and say it again, like it was her mantra or something, to which I politely replied “its ok, she’s with me”, which I thought would end it.
Then while I’m using the bathroom, she’s repeating it like a parrot to everyone walking by “little girls can’t be in the mens bathroom”. When I walk out she says it again, aimed directly to me, to which I politely reply “well she has to use it, and I can’t exactly take her in the womens room”, and she kept parroting back her little phrase until I walked off .
Now, I’m fairly certain what I did was correct, but just wanted to verify to see if it was in any way the wrong thing to do- sending her in the womens room alone was not something I felt comfortable doing, and I don’t see a fourth option. Asking a stranger to taker her in seemd a bit dodgy as well. Perhaps the woman thought a mens room like that has a shower or something, with men walking around nude with their wangs out, I don’t know.
Also, what exactly is the cut off age for this- in other words, in this situation, how old should she be for me to let her go in the womens alone?
Going in with her? Probably 7 or 8. Waiting outside the door for her after that until she’s about 10 or 11, and then letting her go by herself when she’s about 12.
Under no circumstances should a child as young as your friend’s daughter be unaccompanied into a bathroom. Since you can’t march into the women’s restroom, you did right to take her into the men’s room. The woman is a twit and I would pay her no mind.
The woman’s behavior sounds very child-like. She’s reciting the phrase like it’s a mantra, and doesn’t seem to understand the idea of exceptions to rules. And she kept saying it to people who were randomly passing by? My guess is, she was mentally retarded.
I think thats about right. My oldest daughter just turned twelve in September, and she goes by herself if I’m not too far from it. And she’s also allowed now to take her younger sister (who is six) if we’re standing in line.
I see little boys accompanied by women in the ladies room all the time. I’ve never seen any men outside the door pointing their fingers at them and asking why they’re letting the wee lad inside the inner sanctum. My vote is that you were in the right, Wee Bairn.
Wee Bairn, I think you were in one of those “damned if you do, damned it you don’t” situations. Can you imagine what would have happened if you’d sent the girl into the women’s room alone? When she was done, she might well have been ushered out by indignant women crying “How DARE you send her in by herself?”
You did the right thing. The woman was out of line.
You understand that he meant “You seriously didn’t let her go into a bathroom by herself until she was 12?”. That’s a serious, serious WTF moment for me too.
There’s no weenie wagging going on in the men’s bathroom, either. Nobody has a penis long enough that they’re standing outside of the “visual block” provided by the urinals themselves.
You know, I actually thought of that after the fact- she was literally repeating this over and over like rain man. I only glanced up at her though, so I really couldnt say for sure, but her being not all there would be the most sensible explanation.
also, I thinkivylass is saying you take a girl in the mens room until seven or eight, stand outside the womens room door age 8 -11, and let her walk to the bathroom completely alone at age 12.
and yes, no troughs at this venue, only partioned urinals and toilets- I can’t recall ever seeing a mans penis in the mens room ever, except when doing a Larry Craig
Well, “me too” posts are boring, but there’s not much to add to this except a tally, I guess.
Yes, I think you did the right thing and no, I don’t think she was right.
I also think 11 is far too old to require supervision in the restroom for MOST kids. Not all, but most. Then again, I was a single mom of a boy when dealing with this. I think he flat out refused to go into the women’s room with me at about 5 or 6 - right around when he started kindergarten, I bet. So that was when I stood nervously outside the door and called, “Honey? Mama’s right here, are you okay?” every time the door opened and someone walked in or out.
I did that for about a year, and then for another year or so I’d help him find the men’s room, but I wouldn’t hover, I’d just wait outside so he didn’t have to find me again afterwards.
I’m pretty sure that by 8 or 9 he was on his own, and could find the restroom in a restaurant without my help and find his own way back to the table.
Well put. A lot depends on the venue and the individual kid. But I think your experience is more common than, say, not allowing your 12-year-old to go pee at a movie without you getting up too.
Up until age six or so Husband or I would accompany child into restroom. Not necessarily in the actual stall, though usually with the girls I might if I had to go too. My little boy is three, so we go into the stall with him. I don’t know when that will change, I’d say in the next year.
Next step was in the bathroom but not hovering in front of the stall door until about age eight or so.
Then it was wait outside the bathroom until nine to ten.
From that point it was as long as we could see the bathroom (Like if we were in line, or if we were eating at the table.) she would go alone.
Now, she goes even if I can’t see the bathroom. Though I don’t think I would be all that comfortable if it were clear across a big box store. I still keep track of time gone though. She hasn’t gone over an acceptable time to be gone, so I’ll deal with that if/when the time comes.
