Today I Accomplished a Life-Long Goal

I’ve had been trying for years to acheive my goal. I worked on it at least weekly. Sometimes for almost an hour at a time. Few understood. None believed. But today, I did it!

I used my cunning and wiley skills to

…sneak up on a pigeon and pat it on the back!

Well, I’m proud of myself. Hard work does pay off. Now I can check that off my list and go on with my life.


That is impressive!
One of my life long goals was to drive a tractor on a main road and jam up traffic for miles.

I got to do it about 10 years ago.

It was a grand, grand moment for me.


I might be the only person whose mom ever sent him out of the house with a salt shaker and told him to catch a bird by sprinkling salt on its tail, only to come back with one. Its wing was broken, and the man next door took care of it and buried him in a tiny box in his back yard.

fishbicycle, I just came in here to say my Dad told me you can catch birds by sprinkling salt on their tails! Wonder where that story originated. Must admit I never succeeded though.

In your face, “To Do List”!

[li]End Crime and Injustice[/li][li]Bowl a Perfect Game x[/li][li]See Stevie Nicks Naked xxx[/li][li]Pat a Pigeon on the Back x[/li][/ol]

I’ve always wanted to do that. Did you grab it or just touch it and let go? How did it react?

Oh yeah… forgot to say good job :slight_smile: I never got close enough. It’s like the bastards have eyes on the sides of their heads or something.

On the DVD commentary for Young Frankenstein Mel Brooks says that if you wanted to sneak up on Marty Feldman you had to be directly in front of him.

Maybe it’s the same for pigeons?

I jusy know I’m going to get some “how can you be so cruel you rotten bastard” replies, but screw it, here goes. Some years ago, back in the early '90’s, a friend of mine invented a game he called pigeon punting. The goal of the game, as you might guess, is to sneak up on a pigeon while walking in the Loop, and give it a healthy punt. In retrospect, I guess this is technically pigeon placekicking, but the effect was the same, a quick set-up step, a boot, and a mass of feathers and pissed off pigeon. I only saw him pull this off with any success once, and I admit to finding it funny as hell. Myself, I never managed to get a good kick off, but not for lack of trying.

zagloba, I’m not sure where it originated, but in hindsight, it’s the kind of creative thing a parent would tell their kid when they want to get you out of their hair. Kids are just gullible enough to fall for it, and the parent knows it.

I don’t think you should feel any more guilty about kicking a pigeon then kicking a musk rat, Mr. Bus Guy but that’s just me.

As for the salt on the tail story, I was always told that they couldn’t fly away with the salt on their tail.
Are you saying that I have been lied to? :eek:

:: reads OP ::
:: is reminded of the time she sneaked up on a chicken, sitting asleep on a fence::
:: goes back to work with a broad, broad smile::

I don’t think you should call your co-worker a “broad”. Sure, she smile now but maybe she don’t smile later. You never know what to expect with chicks.

Hah! I have sneaked up on a pigeon, picked it up and put it out of the window.

(I didn’t try it the time I foudn a seagull in my kitchen, though - those things are big and fierce)


:: spots another cloggie ::

Psst, Scoundrel Swanswater; there’s a Duch Dopefest this May! You’re invited!

congrats inkleberry, and a word to the wise… your spoiler box is showing through in the forum mouseover.

I think you need to add more stuff before a spoiler in an OP if you don’t want people to get spoiled early.

Sorry, Maastricht, but I am terribly shy and not a very nice person in real-life.
Up here I can at least keep up the pretense. :smiley:

We have stupid, fat, overconfident pigeons here in Toronto. We have also invented the ‘pigeon-punt’. It’s great fun.

How can you be so cruel you rotten bastard? Heh.

Okay, I will confess to FEEDING the dirty little runts once while waiting at a bus stop. I was eating a sandwich and wanted to see what they’d do, so I broke off a few crumbs and tossed them to the ground. HOLY FUCKING PIGEONS!!!

Damn, those birds are everywhere.

I have yet to achieve my life goal of making a giant crop circle. woe :frowning:

Mostly because I don’t have a tractor… Shirley, could I borrow yours?