Today, I shot the bird at a young child

In my defense, the child was being a TOTAL asshole.

Horrible long stressful day at work. One of the pigs I had gotten attached to was euthanized and I had to work on proofreading over 500 pages of protocols. At the end of the day I’m outside and I am having a cigarette (I really don’t smoke that much) and this small child on the sidewalk while her mother was strapping in the second child into a car seat was like “ummmm she’s smoking! she’s bad!”

It all happened so fast. I had no control over it. The mother screamed at me “did you just do what I think you did”

I mean yeah I shouldn’t make a habit of giving children the finger but is this REALLY that offensive? Am I REALLY in debt to society now?

Yes, smoking is that offensive.


Anybody else picturing a punk lobster with black spikey hair and combat boots, leaning against a brick building, one claw-knee bent?

I’d have flipped off the mother, too. Whatever, it’s just a gesture. It’s not like the kid understands what it means. People are just waaaaaay too oversensitive about stuff these days.

Yes, it was awful. Your punishment is to give me a hug.

I thought that the concern with profanities/gestures amongst parents, was based more on not having the kid mimic the behavior, than the actual meaning of said profanity/gesture.

You are my new hero!!!

I wasn’t blowing smoke in your face. or anyones face. This is san francisco you cant smoke ANYWHERE. although I did see two 20 sometimes smoking pot in the container store. A bowl. Not even a joint that could look like a rolled cigarette. But you cant even smoke indoors here. Especially not in the CONTAINER STORE (lobster’s mecca)

That mom should’ve been chastizing her kid, not screaming at you.

Miss Manners always says it’s rude to correct adults’ behavior.
Especially when one is a child, sheesh!

who is miss manners exactly. I have Emily Post’s Ettiquette. Its “updated” by some Elizabeth Post (a grandaughter? niece?) but its still pretty weird. Still talks about leaving calling cards when you visit someones home. And women should always where a dress hat when on the street. The only hat I own has the word “slut” embroidered on it and an arrow pointing to whoever is standing to my left. I digress…


And the only thing that will make this even better is if a bunch of uptight stick-up-the-butt types come in and throw hissy fits!

A little impolite maybe but probably justified. Don’t make a habit out of it, though. :slight_smile:

The mom should’ve used this as an opportunity to to teach her kid about minding one’s own business. You can’t really blame kids for overreacting though, with all the anti-smoking propaganda they’re exposed to. My niece thinks smoking is the most evil thing in the world, worse than stepping on puppies.

Back to the OP, I can’t think of a single thing that might cause me to flip a kid off. How old was he? You said small child, so I’m guessing 5 YO or less.

AFAIC, you can take whatever phrase in the universe it is that cuts to the core, and makes me feel awful, and I still wouldn’t feel aggressive towards a kid for having said it. Maybe I consider the source earlier in my reaction sequence than the OP.

When I’m driving, I sometimes give the “under finger” trademark pending. If someone pulls an asshole move that affects me in traffic, I give them the finger, except I keep it low enough that nobody sees it but me. It makes me feel better, and doesn’t escalate the situation.

I’m not afraid to give the “lookie here, I’m flipping you off” finger when needed, but I find that my version gives me the same satisfaction minus the possible weapons related outcomes that can arise from giving a visible bird.

Did the kid really get to you, or are you prone to giving the finger often? I can certainly see giving the mother the finger if she were to get overly sanctimonious within earshot of you, but I’m still having trouble rationalizing flipping off a little kid.

I’m with the kid on this one.

Meh. It’s not like you were hurting someone by having a cig after a hard day of work. The crazy, let’s indocrinate our kids 1984 style against Big Tobacco reminds me of that “South Park” episode where the anti smoking crowd comes off as more irritating than the tobacco companies. They may be less evil, but they’re definitely more annoying.

Okay, I hate, HATE HATE HATE smoking with a passion (not smokERS, smoking), I’m a grown-up and even I wouldn’t say anything to a smoker unless they were actually approaching me to talk (then it would be me backing up and asking a polite “ummm, could you wait until you’re finished with your cig please”?). After all, you were outside, as you are supposed to be, not polluting the indoors or anything.

But this is too funny. I guess it kind of ties in with my feelings toward the whole child worshiping crowd.

This child was being a typical “neener, neener I don’t have to show respect to anyone, or anything, I rule the world” brat and you just took the wind right out of her spoiled rotten little sails.

Too bad you couldn’t have had a quick come-back like “did your offspring just behave as ill-mannered as I thought she did”?

“Yes ma’am, I did just flip off your kid. Now try to teach him some manners, and that he doesn’t get be a sanctimonious prick until he’s an adult.”

:: shoots **lobstermobster ** the bird ::

Well, how do you like it?

I think its fantastic. This isn’t communist China. I have every right to shoot the bird at the more vulnerable.

If flipping off a rude child is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.