That line reminds me of this webcomic.
spot on!
Speaking as a parent, it is hard to teach subtlety to the under-six crowd. We taught our son from the get-go that “smoking is bad.” We don’t want him to smoke - hell, his grandmother died of lung cancer.
The idea that “smoking is bad, but people who smoke are not bad” is difficult to get across to a very young child. We faced this problem a lot in Indonesia, where everyone - including people our son really looked up to - smoked. He would run into the house, shocked and distressed, saying “Mommy! Anwar is SMOKING! You told me, smoking is BAD!”
So we tried to explain “Anwar didn’t know when he started smoking that it is really bad for your health. Now that he is smoking, it is really hard to stop. That’s one reason we don’t want you to start, because once you do it is so hard to quit. But don’t blame Anwar, he is a good person.”
Still, that’s a real mouthful and a lot of conceptualizing for a little kid. And as any parent knows, little kids will be rude, unfortunately. They just don’t know any better. An adult should.
The mother didn’t behave obnoxiously/inappropriately until AFTER her kid got flipped off, so her shrillness does not excuse lobstermobster’s behavior, IMHO. Besides, if lobstermobster gets a free pass for rude behavior because he had a rough day, why shouldn’t she? How do you know she didn’t find out three hours earlier that she has breast cancer?
Fine.
:: rubs a booger on** lm’s ** hat ::
I’ll just keep doing this until I find something that bugs you; and I’ve got all night.
This is funny, it reminds me of when I was a reallyn young kid I 'd always ask my Dad after he got back from playing hockey, “Did you beat the bad guys?” It really didn’t occur to me as a kid that the opposing team to my father’s could be anything but good vs. bad guys. He tried to explain that they were all friends, but I just had to grow up before I understood.
Do you have a t-shirt that says “Jingle My Bells” across the breasts? If not, I can send you my girlfriend’s–for free. Just in time for Christmas.
I wonder what Miss Manners would say about that.
And you know this how? If this was, as described, a young child, it’s much more likely that it’s a little one who has been taught that smoking is bad and hasn’t had a chance to learn that 1. that doesn’t make smokers bad and 2. what other people do isn’t really any of his business. Kids blurt things. It doesn’t mean they’re spoiled or entitled or brats. It means they’re kids. It also means that as soon as mom got the kid into the car she should have talked to him about what’s appropriate behavior. And that we don’t say things like that about people we don’t know. And suchlike. And we don’t know that she didn’t.
I’d be a bit ticked off, too, if somebody flipped off my little one, simply for making the kind of comment that young kids make because they haven’t learned tact yet. Now if the kid was ten or older I’ll adjust this.
I bet if you ask your family, they will be able to tell you stories of when you were little and said something in public that was totally embarrassing to your parents too. 
The kid in this story was just being a normal little kid. Little kids say all kinds of “rude” things without meaning to be rude. They just don’t know any better and often interpret the things their parents tell them in ways the parents can’t foresee. People aren’t born knowing that it’s wrong to make a loud comment about a stranger’s appearance or behavior.
Miss Manners needs to get laid.
I get kids saying this to me all the time. I think they get told to do it in school (seems like it, anyway).
I tend to say “You’re right. I smoke because I’m an idiot.”
I reckon the kid’s health is more important than its manners, which can be fixed in the long term.
and how will they learn if they don’t see the consequences? :dubious:
If I was the parent I’d appreciate the visual aid. “You see Johnny, you shoudn’t be rude to strangers even if you don’t like what they’re doing. They might flip you the bird or they might be packing a 9mm and blow your rude little mouth out the back of your head”.
That’ll get em under control! 
Or as you don’t think it’s the kid’s fault, are you saying LM should have flipped off the mother ?
Kids do not have the “Filter for Thoughts” that keep thoughts unspoken and just blurt everything out until about 5yo. LM overreacted. The mom overreacted.
But that mom had best teach her child that observations about nasty habits are usually underappreciated and can be responded to with vigor and displeasure.
YMMV, but I do not want my child to learn “if someone says something rude to you, you have the right to be rude in response! Go ahead, give people the finger when they annoy you.”
When I was six, my teacher told me that people that smoke are sheep. My mom didn’t appreciate it when I baaaaaa-ed at her. She’s still pissed off about it.
Only one child?
I agree, LM overreacted. And her offense against courtesy was far greater than the child’s, since LM is an adult and should know better.
We all make mistakes. Don’t waste time with guilt, LM, just don’t flip the bird at a small child again. And Moms are often overprotective when their children are concerned. That’s why we don’t get in between bear sows and their cubs.
A very quick glance at the thread title had me thinking the OP was going to relate some sort of tragic hunting accident…
Anyway, you’re all missing the point. Including you, Lobster. What actually happened was that for the child’s own good you selflessly decided to affirm said child’s view of smokers being bad people, despite the obvious moral anguish it caused you to do so.
You’re a hero
ETA Some of the hysteria here has me tempted to flip off a few kids on my way home from work
I would have told them both to fuck off (and I don’t smoke).
See, I was hanging with you until this. If it had been me - and most likely will one day because I have two tactless boys with embarrassingly loud voices sometimes - I would have just said “Look son. She just flipped you off. Now tell her to fuck off.”
Yes, I think you probably overreacted a little but it’s forgiveable. Hell, not even to be forgiven, just human I think. If it had been me most likely I would have had that “what the hell did you just do?” moment but since my sons get all their grace and charm from their mama, I probably would have just flipped you off right back.
Kids say shit like this all the time and it can be the most embarrassing thing in the world. Most people have had the “Hey why is that lady so fat?” comment in the check out line and wanted to sink into a hole in the ground because you are either the mom or the fat lady. That brain to mouth filter takes a while to really seal in there and if a kid is young enough to need to be strapped in to a car seat I would guess he’s young enough to not have that seal properly siliconed and buffed and cemented. It doesn’t make him a self-entitled spoiled brat. It makes him annoying - which is par for the course with kids sometimes.
Hee hee. We should never meet in a parking lot. I would have you and my son in a “fuck off” contest.
Gee, why does my son curse?
What hysteria? Are you reading some other thread?