Tonight I was at a bbq. There was an open bottle of tobasco sauce on the table. A toddler came up and grabbed it. I was the only adult in the vicinity. I tried to gently coax her to give me the bottle, but she wasn’t having it. When she started to toddle off, I took it from her. This of course was the biggest trauma she’d ever suffered in her toddler life, because she started shrieking.
And out of nowhere, her parents ran up and demanded to know what I was doing to their precious. I explained that she had grabbed a bottle of tobasco sauce, and I couldn’t get her to give it back to me, and I was worried that she would get it on her, so I took it from her.
Apparently, this makes me a child molester or something, because boy, did her parents try to read me the riot act. Now, I’m not about to sit there and get yelled at by a couple of douchebag parents who can’t be bothered to watch their kiddie, so I tried to walk away from the crazy, but that wasn’t enough. The dad followed me, screaming at me, and finally the host came up and asked him to leave the party. I really wanted to punch the guy, but I didn’t want to make a mess for the host. And plus, I feel silly about punching a guy because I took away hot sauce from his kid. And plus, you can’t punch somebody for being a yelly douchebag.
Blasphemy. The delicate flavor of baby is completely overwhelmed by much more than a bit of olive oil and salt. Now, around fourth grade, they get a bit more gamey, and can withstand more intense seasonings.
Seriously though… as a parent, thank you for not letting that child burn her eyes out. Her parents are assholes.
No, the host asked him to calm down or to leave, at which point they decided to leave. But it put me in a bad mood for the rest of the night. I know I shouldn’t have let it, but it’s annoying to have someone yell at you.
The only thing I have to say is that you shouldn’t have tried to coax it from her. You should have taken it from her forcefully. And fuck her parents if they can’t be troubled to watch their kid at a barbecue.
Dad needs kicked in the nuts hard enough to insure there are no additional kids.
I feel for you, dude. Last summer, I pulled a drowning toddler out of the ocean and her parents treated me like Chester the Molester, too. Mom was too busy reading a trashy novel and dad was too busy flying a kite to keep an eye on their tiny daughter. They couldn’t even be arsed to have her wear a flotation device. Anyhow, while I played with my daughter and nephew, the ocean took her. She had time to chirp “help!” once before she went under. I went stampeding over and snatched her out of water that was nips-deep on me and I stand 6 feet tall. I carried her ashore with her clinging to me and shaking. Cue mom and dad to look up and begin treating me like the random pervert. I hate people.
Don’t you know about all the sick fucks that get their jollies taking Tabasco from babies? It’s the latest fetish out there. Perverts on every corner just waiting to get their hands on that smooth cold glass, watching the tears of anguish from innocent babes.