Short timers(like me) be cautious this time of year…
Congrats…
“The one here with the most sobriety is the one who got up earliest today”
quoting my sponsor, a retired barber, sober over 25 years, and far wiser and more serene than I am.
So if we’re smart, we’ll all be cautious today.
Amen.
It has been ten years since my successful abandonment of drugs. Twenty years since my first attempt. Alcohol was never a problem for me, so I never thought drugs would be either. Took two decades to find out just how wrong I was, and another two (so far) to do something about it.
Congratulations to everyone who has unsaddled their monkey!
Tris
I gave up the barbituates and stimulants about 25 years ago and really can’t even remember the last time I had an illegal drug or smoked pot, although it was before the 1990’s rolled around.
Do like my beer though.
Congratulations to all of you!
Congratulations on your triumph!
Congratulations to twickster47
As far as short time, long time is concerned. It seems to me that all anyone really has is today. I didn’t drink today and that’s what counts.
Congratulations!
Robin
Congrats twickster! I’m coming up on 12 years and loving it!
twickster, this might sound strange, but are you Jenny’s mom? Your birthday and time are a big coincidence otherwise!
EJsGirl – nope, not Jenny’s mom. Just one of those wacky coincidences. Tell Jenny’s mom her secret twin tells her “Happy Birthday”!
Hey Congrats Twickster! Happy Birthday!
Way to go! Congratulations on your strength and desire to be clean. Enjoy!
Congratulations to you!
I have a question for all of those who are sober - is it a daily struggle? I honestly have no knowledge in these quarters. I worry, though, for my son, as his father is an alcoholic.
In my experience (three years sober, and now coming up on two months after a three-year slip) it’s kind of “stuck” and I don’t really think about it. However, when I have my moments and am freaking out, if I let myself go any further I’ll realize that my pattern of thinking will lead to wanting a drink. No real reason - just so I wouldn’t have to feel anything, let alone have to deal with those feelings.
So I use the tools that have been given to me: take care of basic needs first. Am I hungry? Angry? Lonely? Tired? Then I eat, call someone, have a nap… If I can, I try and figure out what’s got me into such a state, think it through, then let it go if it’s something that I’m powerless over.
You hear “One day at a time” batted about. For many, it is a daily struggle of sorts, but I prefer to think of it as a daily reprieve from wanting or needing a drink. See, I stopped “fighting it” (as it were) when I had my last drink and realized I had to go back to AA if I ever wanted to live again. I can’t fight alcohol. So by realizing my powerlessness over it (for it is indeed cunning, baffling, powerful, and patient), I’m able to find that reprieve that keeps me sober another 24 hours.
It’s also important for me to not live in the future. It’s far too easy - yet incredibly pointless and rather dangerous - to go into my head and put myself into situations that haven’t even happened yet, and proceed to write the whole script from beginning to end. And of course, everything always goes horribly wrong, at least in my scenario. When I find myself doing that, I have to remember the way my sponsor always says, in his Liverpudlian accent, “You’re not there yet, dear, are you?!” All of this to say that while I’m not ignorant of next week or the week after or next month, I try and keep myself living - and thinking - in a more realistic 24-hour window. Easy does it. First things first.
Anyway, that’s how it works for me. 
Ginger, for me the obsession to drink was lifted right away. I don’t think about drinking much at all today, but that’s after almost 12 years of sobriety. When I was newly sober, the problem was that I associated drinking with everything I did (duh). I had to find a way to live that didn’t focus on getting a drink or a drug all the time. So I started doing things differently, with help (I am a 12 stepper).
But plenty of sober people I know have a daily struggle with wanting to drink. It’s different for everyone. In my experience, if you want to stay sober more than you want to drink, you can. Of course, if you want to drink more than you want to stay sober, you will drink.
Your son may not be an alcoholic, you know. I hope he isn’t, because it can be a bitch. Remember, his father may be an alcoholic, but his mother is not.
You have chosen wisely. Congratulations.
18 years sober, here.
Copngrats! 81/2 years here.
Do you still do meetings?
Still live by the steps, haven’t been to a meeting in… a long time.
Ginger – although there’s a strong genetic component to alcoholism (it definitely runs in my family), it’s not the only determining factor.
As far as recovery is concerned – when I first got sober, it was like “dang, I can’t drink any more” – but within a year or so it had changed to “thank god, I don’t have to drink any more.” Everyone’s experience is different, though – some people relapse one or more times, others seem to “get” the program on their first try – though it’s a continuing process for all of us.
Best wishes to all my fellow dopers in recovery…I’ve really been enjoying hearing from all of you. Keep coming back!
Twickster: Congrats! You deserve a pat on the back.
Ginger: Alcoholism killed my father when I was a baby. My mom often says that I am more like him than any of the other kids (Same worries, obsessions, concerns, fears, etc). But I do not drink. I had a beer at a party last September. Before that, it was July 4. It just isn’t a major factor in my life. That is because of my mother. If I should be fortunate enough to stay clear of addiction in my life, it is because of the example she set for me.
I can’t speak to whether the idea of genetics in alcoholism, but I can say that nurture has as much to do with it as nature.