BRAIN: Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?
PINKY: Um…I think so, Brain, but what if the chicken won’t wear the nylons?
Tim Garner, meet your new cellmate (coopmate?)…
(Bessigano probably has more class, he brought his chick to a hotel)
I find it somewhat disturbing that the newstory linked in the OP states
“A Sabine Parish man is accused of fowl play, authorities said.”
It just doesn’t get better than that.
[Person determined to bring everything around to the homosexuality issue]
Well, at least he wasn’t seeking out the {synonym for roosters} – everybody knows how perverted that would be!
[/Person determined to bring everything around to the homosexuality issue]
Actually, this was performance art – he was re-enacting the “Rape of the Sabines” 
Hey Poly, that would have been just sick! Let’s give the guy some credit, it was a hen… it’s not like he was some kind of pervert.
Oh, dear. That man lives way too close to my home town for my peace of mind. Shudder.
What’s the problem Harimar? I don’t think he’ll go after you. Are you a man or a chicken?
I don’t like being so close to perverts like that, Mighty_Girl. Though as a female human I am not his type.
You could always make up a feathered outfit! 
Just don’t wear a feather boa. 
Poly:
“synonym for roosters” – you mean “cocks”?
(hey, you know somebody had to say it!)
Oops, I think I got whooshed. Sorry, Poly, I’m not used to subtle humor in the pit.
Thanks for the thought. It’s not him that I want to impress, though.
Check out the lyrics to this song. Life imitates art.
I stumbled across video of some sicko porking a chicken. (Ain’t the Internet a wonderful thing?) The audio was hilarious, but overall it was pretty foul!
Actually, a great soundtrack for the chicken video could be supplied using only Ray Stevens songs.
I refer of course to the classic rendition of “In The Mood” (recorded under the name “The Henhouse Five”).
He also did “Teenage Mutant Kung Fu Chickens”, a song I have mercifully forgotten if indeed I ever heard it.
Asleep At The Wheel did a catchy number called “There Ain’t Nobody Here But Us Chickens”.
I will stop now.
Topical Flash via b3ta.com:
(Cute and fluffy, but very possibly Not Safe For Work.)
Ain’t Nobody Here But Us Chickens is the work of jazz legend Louis Jordan, who also penned the immortal Boogie in the Barnyard. “Oink Oink! Moo Moo!”
Yeah, but that was chicken feed next to this guy.
I like Hasil, but I still defer to Louis Jordan as the final authority.
Chicken is still what you got, boy.
I think that this story should be grounds for nominating the Town Talk repertorial staff for a Pullet Surprise!