Man mistakenly cuts off own penis, dog eats it - please tell me this is a prank

What is this world coming to?

How sleep-deprived do you have to be to do something like that?

Sounds like a cock-and-bulldog story, to me.

<<insert your own “choke the chicken” joke here>>

Never mind that: how long a dick did the guy have that he could stretch it over the chopping block and whack it with an axe??

I don’t want to know what that family are having for Christmas dinner!

I hear it tastes just like chicken.

Huh. I’d have thought penis would taste like pork.

This is also why guys should stop insisting that swallowing is better than spitting.

Actually it’s not the penis itself that tastes like pork and it’s not actually pork, but more like pork gravy. Ya see, pork gravy has sort of a… never mind, I’ve already said too much.

Why is this in the Pit?

If he was in his underwear, how’d his penis get out and onto the chopping block?

He mistook the chopping block for his morning wood?

I was wondering that myself.

Frankly, it’s sounding more and more like the Savage Love column – or was it the News of the Weird column? with the penile injury story that starts with a guy talking about how he was vacuuming in the nude, and…well, the rest is just too icky to fill in the blanks.

Yeah, except from himself somewhere down the line.

How 'bout a clarinet?

Except when it tastes like fish.

I wonder if he had a weiner dog.

Well, he does now!

Yew go to Hell. Yew go to hell and you dah!

Yeah. When having sex with a chicken, decapitatating the bird at the moment of climax is supposed to produce the ultimate sensation due to the resulting muscular contractions.

The subject of the OP may have missed his aim, or perhaps was exceptionally well-endowed.

Wow I’ve given a dog a bone before but not like that.

We really need that barfsmiley.