Today's Telemarketing Rant

New Telemarketing Tool Trumps TeleZapper

If Burr said that with a straight face, he’s got a future in politics. Obviously, people with a Telezapper do not want to be called. Period. To produce a workaround and then say you don’t want to bother people is either delusional or bald-faced lying.

I leave the colorful expletives directed at telemarketing firms and managers to more expressive Dopers. I express deepest sympathy for those stuck in this line of work (as long as you don’t enjoy it). It is not a good job market and sometimes people have to take any job they can, but really, you’re doing [sub](aethistically speaking)[/sub] Lucifer’s work.

Buried at the bottom of the linked article is a paragraph about the proposed federal Do Not Call registry. I find myself seething that my tax dollars are (in this state) and will (federally) be spent to keep someone I have no wish to communicate with from forcing his/her way into my home via a device I am already paying for.

And Mr. Burr has the balls to think it’s reasonable that I should have to stop what I’m doing, and run to the caller-id box to try to figure out whether the “MasterCard” on the box will be a call about my credit card being abused, or someone trying to sell me insurance on it in case it does get abused!

Maybe the rest of the world isn’t wrong, and I’m just being unreasonable.

I’m with you, D-Odds, but not at all surprised by the news. The reason I didn’t buy a TeleZapper months ago is that I expected exactly this arms race. Perhaps the manufacturer of TeleZapper will come up with a new way to deal with the new equipment…and so on.

At this point, I’m pinning my hopes on the national Do Not Call list that’s in process of implementation. Silly of me, perhaps…

Look, it’s all about choice. You like choice, don’t you? It’s the essence of freedom, after all.

If you don’t hear the sales pitch, you can’t make a choice to not buy the product. By allowing Telezapper to block telemarketing calls, you’re actually lessening the net amount of choice in the world and thus giving aid and comfort to totalitarian regimes. You are no better than a collaborator!

Mr. Burr is a great man, fighting for freedom and democracy. I salute his contribution!

(End of sarcastic rant question for off topic consideration: did I Godwinize myself with “collaborator”, or is that sufficiently vague?)

barb b, that national Do Not Call list is supposedly to be financed by new fees taxed from telemarketing companies. Imagine how pleased they are with that. :wink:

O.K., here goes:

Darn it! Those guys are poopy-pants. This really cheeses me off!

blowero, nice try, thank you for participating, but that’s not exactly what the committee was looking for. We wish you well in your future endeavours.



“Good evening. Are you Mr. _____?”

“Get cancer.”


Don’t I get a lovely parting gift?

I told one to burn in the eternal flames of hell the other day.

He called back, and explained to me that he was doing his work and person X really wanted to hear about the mortgage. So I told him I understood that, and I hoped he understood that I wish that he felt the pain as the flesh melted off his bones as he spent a thousand thousand years in the boiling pit of hellfire.

I think it upset him.

You get a copy of the SDMB tabletop game by Parker Bradley. Fun for the whole family. If you’ll just submit your name, address, daytime contact and blood for DNA profiling, we’ll be all set.

Now that is a thing of beauty.


I like telemarketers. When I’m in a bitchy mood, they make a nice sounding board. It’s their dime. So far, I have:

Told one my whole depressing life story, and gotten advice on what to do about my bf, then I thanked her for her time and hung up.

I asked a male telemarketer if he were single, and then asked him if he would pay my way to his city and set me up as his mistress.


But they do make nice targets when one is cranky. When all else fails…
No!!! {{{click}}}

Today I got an automated telemarketing call about how I had won a free shitty phone or something, and they said to press 1 to talk to a live operator, so I did, and when they said, “Hi, are you over 21?”, I shouted “FUCK YOU!” into the receiver and hung up.

There’s a kind of warm, tingly, fuzzy feeling one can only get from either petting a puppy or swearing at assholes.

…you know, you don’t have to tell the person on the other end of the line to get cancer. Or that you wish they’d burn in the firey depths of hell.

My god, people, show some dignity and class! You’re talking to a human being who’s working in a crappy job that they probably hate, and who has no control over whether the computer dials your number or not. You don’t have to be cheerful, or even very polite. Just hang up the phone! Don’t act like a jerk to someone over the phone just because you can.

::fumes:: :mad:

I was going to rant about assorted phone stuff today because I am tired and cranky. This seems to be the place to do it.

To the guy who left the 48th message on my answering machine about the trip to Disney Land… No I am not going to return your call. I got your message, did you get mine?

To the machine voice of Ms. Customer service. No I will not call back at 1 (800) ANU-MBER unless you tell me maybe what company you are customer service for, or perhaps who you might be calling.

I don’t want the local newspaper for only a dollar a sunday.

I don’t want to change phone services.

I dont want new siding, windows, or doors. I dont want a new morgage, and I dont want to sell my house.

Does phoning people about car window replacement realy work?

And finaly to the morron that decided to set up their fax machine to send at 2am last night… Check your freaking number!!!

[/rant off] (Ok it is not a very good one but i am tired.)

Take heart, those of you in other regions. Since signing up on the PA do not call list, my daily TAQ (telephonic asshat quotient) has dropped to zero.

Now if I could only take care of my email inbox before these folks convince me that I can have a penis the size of an SUV, used as collateral for my 0% mortgage and apply the money I’ve saved to meet a hot Russian woman.

Woo hoo! Be still, O harting beet!

What I love to do is…

[Me]: Oh sorry, Mr Smith isn’t here, can I get your number so he can ring you back?

[TM]: Umm… sorry we’re not allowed to give our number.

Or another favourite is

[Me]: Hang on for a moment?
<3 minutes later>
[TM]: Hello? Anyone there?

Hey, I was cheerful, and polite, and also instructing the lying person exactly where to go. It relieved much stress in a horrible, horrible workday.

I love to lead them on if I’m in a good mood and then just say “no thanks after all”. :stuck_out_tongue:

If I’m in a bad mood, I like to say, “hold on a minute” put the phone down and walk away. :smiley:

Caller ID doesn’t work really well–for god’s sake my daughter’s school comes up as unavailable! Jeez. :confused:

Glad to know that the TZ isn’t going to work much longer, I was considering buying one. :rolleyes:

My folks have the option to have the “non-solicitation” message on their phone. It almost eliminated their TM calls. I wish we could get it! :mad: