Parroting your parent’s distraction techniques must be a two year old thing. My son, at 2:
Me: “D, don’t throw your baseball in the flower garden.”
D (pointing to the other side of the yard): “Daddy, go look at the barbecue”
About a month or two ago, he came running upstairs at full speed.
D: “Mummy doesn’t have a penis!” (He’s known this for a long time, who knows why it suddenly became important)
Me: “That’s right, mummy is a girl. Girls d-”
D: “She needs one! We have to go buy her a penis!”
I can barely speak with laughter at this point.
Me: “Where do we buy one?”
D: “The mall! Let’s go!”
LOL! I love it! Toddlers really DO have their own logic.
I threw Buttons a few months ago when it came to brushing teeth.
Buttons was standing in front of the sink, toothbrush in hand, brushing his front teeth. When I reminded him that he needed to brush the ones in the back. He looked at me, very confused, then reached behind him to try to brush the teeth… in the back. I don’t think I could breath for laughter for about… oh, 10 minutes.
When my nephew was about three, he was trying to force his left foot into his right shoe. I told him he had his shoes on the wrong feet. He started to cry telling me they were the only feet he had.
The Small One wanted an extra popsicle, and my wife said she could not have one. When the Small One asked why, Mommy explained that too many popsicles woulde make her sick.
So the Small One thought for a moment, and then made a big, phony sneeze. Then she said, “Mommy, I’m sick already, can I have a Popsicle now?”
At a town meeting in a school cafeteria, my 2-year-old daughter needed to potty. I took her into the men’s room. She wanted to use a urinal. I explained that one must have a penis to use a urinal. Somehow she must have gotten confused, because upon reentering the town meeting she shouted across the cafeteria “I saw Dad’s penis!”
When my oldest son Andrew was two, we were working with him on everyone in our family’s names. We would ask him “who is that?” (point to mommy). "What’s her other name? “Christina”, etcetera.
We had my cousin Barry over one night, and his last name is Haynes.
I asked Andrew “Who is that” and pointed to him.
He said “Barry”
“Barry what?” I said
Had some more fun with Bruiser tonight. He’s clearly getting how things work around here.
I had poured myself a beer and he asked what it was, then said he wanted some. I told him to go ask Mommy first and he immediately decided he didn’t want any.
Then he played “I’m stuck” by leaning on the couch and calling for Mommy. I told him to go show Mommy (on the other side of the room) that he was stuck. Almost fell for it.
My sons will fetch me beers out of the fridge, but after both expressing interest in tasting “Daddy’s beer” and then trying it, they both say “disgusting!” if I offer them a sip anymore.
All the better reason to never use that word with her until she won’t shout it across a room. Why not just tell her they’re only for boys? She has things that are only for girls…
That reminds me of one that happened at a little older age. My son was 5. His best friend lived a few doors down. His friends dad was on a softball team; the NADS. It was pretty embarrassing to sit in the stands with two boys shouting, “GO NADS!” at the tops of their lungs.
Wouldn’t that be the only reason you would name your team that? So that people would yell “Go Nads!”? Unless you’re a really big fan of Australian hair-removal products…
My three year old daughter went through a phase of loving Daddy’s beer, and his bourbon and coke. She also has a way of saying “I love [thing], I love it!” She’d come up to me and say, “whatta drinkin Daddy? Is it beer? can I have some? please?” Then I give her a little slurp and she says “mmm, I looove beer, I love it.”
The good news is that she doesn’t like it anymore, I think she never did, she just pretended to because she wanted to be like us.
The church I attend is adding an addition. The first step is a lot of ground moving. Little kids attending Mom’s Day Out there enjoy watching the diggers.
One of said little kids summed up what he was observing this way “Make Big Mess. Time Out!”