Toilets or Trees: What's your preference?

In My Humble Opinion
1

My friend Dan had a saying: “God made trees, man made toilets. Who you gonna trust?”. Then he’d proceed to go out and pee behind the blue spruce in my mom’s back yard (this was back when we were teenagers). By the time I finished college, the spruce was well on it’s way to being dead. It’s gone now. Poisoned, I think. But now I’ve got my own yard to pee in. I’ve got a fence, and a swamp. I go through the gate, close it behind me, and it’s like the Fortress of Solitude meets the Great Outdoors. I guess I just like to pee outdoors. SmithWife won’t stand for it (pun intended), and vehemently objects when I head off to the “Outhouse”.

I’ll tell you, though: I’d rather pee outdoors. How 'bout you?

For the record, I don’t shit out there. I’m no barbarian.

2

Likewise. Whattya gonna do when you’re working out in the yard all smelly and sweaty and dirty? Go in the house and mess up the bathroom? I think not. The misses needs to be informed that you’re doing this for her sake. Less cleaning.

I like to rationalise that the trace of human urine will keep the Bigfoots out of the garden, and rabbits too.

3

No doubt about it.
I’m always a little surprised when guys use the portapottys at golf courses, when there are all these nice trees and bushes about.
(Saves water too!)

4

Portapotties on Golf Courses?!? I’ve never seen that. Of course, I play on goat pasture public courses.

5

Given the choice, I would rather take a leak outside. I don’t know if it is the breeze airing your junk out or what, but pissing outside is one the great things of being a guy…

6

Just remember the old saying: donta pishta contra venta.

7

I just bought and moved to a place in East Jeebus North Carolina. I’m surrounded by swamps and cotton fields.

Ain’t nuttin better that whizzing outside, or so I thought. I whipped it out to drain the old lizard, and that’s when I was attacked by a pack of Tarheel skeeterbees.
My crank is still swollen from the bites… :smack:

OK, so I’m fibbing. A lot. I do whizz outside, but I sure as hell won’t sunbathe in my back yard, nude or not, because of the bugs…

8

I really enjoy a good outdoor piss. I live in a house on 3 acres, three women and one bathroom. I get to do it all the time.

9

I am reminded of the Non Sequitur cartoon which showed two signs in the wilderness: One arrow pointing to an outhouse, marked “Women,” and the other a bunch of arrows pointing everywhere marked “Men.” The caption was “Why only men refer to it as The Great Outdoors.”

I periodically go out and pee on the fenceposts, just to let the cats in the neighborhood know where the boundaries are.

10

I love peeing outdoors, and do it every chance I get. I have done in in my own backyard many times, and I live in a row house.

A lot of times if I find a secluded spot while walking the dog, I do it.

I also tend to like pissing in alleys, but I did that a lot more when I drank more and before I was married.