Tom Swifties!

“OK, son, I’ll help you with your multiplication homework” said Tom, knowing that times are tough.

“That puppeteer who appeared with Kukla and Ollie had a facial tremor, did you ever notice?” asked Tom, frantically.

“At the spa today, I did something impulsively to that hunky guy who works on me that I may regret” said Mary masochistically.

“This tavern reeks of stale beer and cigarette smoke” Tom said instinctively.

“We can’t let that crazy black guy do his routine in front of this audience!” said the emcee, exercising prior restraint.

“I fear I may have a bad case of halitosis” said Tom, living hand-to-mouth.

“That stripper really took her time before she finally took off her top” said Tom, titillated.

“PHEW!! PHEW!! Damn, I was hoping to set a new world’s record for holding my breath” said Tom, defeated by his own aspirations.

“I’m so stressed I’m going to have to ride the moving staircase up to the next floor to cool off”, said Tom, escalating tensions.

“I’m really getting into making this ditch”, said Tom, digging it.

“I can’t stand not knowing if my sewing supplies store is going to succeed”, said Tom, on pins and needles.

“This new piece of furniture I’ve designed for the dining room fuses the essential components into one unit” Tom said charitably.

“But if only I could get the pieces together properly - damn these Swedish instructions” Tom said, wrenchingly.

“Look, it’s easy…Tab A, Slot B” Mary inserted.

“Can’t do it - that tab is not present on this part”, said Tom, agonized.

“Wow…not only that, I can’t find the slot either” Mary bemoaned.

“I figured out how to get it together another way”, said Tom, rivetingly.

“I know…I’ll buy a trenchcoat!” said Tom, with a flash of inspiration.

“Boy, The Indians really stink this year” said Tom, slumping in the cellar.

“Phew! Time for some Right Guard there, buddy” Tom said pitifully.