Two “ejaculated” on one page? Really?
“I wish those linebackers would stop hitting me so hard,” Tom said bashfully.
“This sinus infection I caught has lasted for many months,” Tom chronicled.
“Three in a row, baby! It’s a new record!” Tom ejaculated.
I couldn’t help myself, sorry.
“With all the kinks in the time continuum, I’ve become my own father!” Tom said apparently.
“I’m giving up prostitution, too”, Tom exhorted.
“…but I suppose I’ll just have to put up with it,” he added phlegmatically.
“I dreamed I saw an Andrew Lloyd Webber musical” said Tom, amazingly.
“I’ve written a secret code.” Tom said cryptically.
“It’s a Caesar cipher,” Tom said augustly.
“All these Tom saids’ need fucking commas after them!” Tom screamed, pedantically, while holding a comb under his nose.
“If I did that, I’d be comma-tose!” Tom retorted grammatically.
There should be a single quotation mark just before “Tom”. You’re welcome.
“There are too many damned billy goats on my bridge!”, said Tom, gruffly.
“I’m going to see an Andrew Lloyd Webber musical,” said Tom, cattily.
There was, but the server stripped it, thanks to its algorithm that makes random errors on purpose when “pedantically” is used in a post, Tom said, conspiratorially after editing the random “error” in this post.
“Bill Clinton’s vice president sure could dance”, said Tom, referring to his algorithm.
“Cite?”, asked the Professor dubiously.
“I never really liked harness racing,” Tom said sulkily.
“W’s veep was better, because he spoke gently but carried a big gun to make his point by shooting people in the face,” Tom said, algo-rythmically, though he couldn’t carry a tune in a basket.
“Trying to find a picture of me holding a comb under my nose would not be a little ridiculous,” Tom answered, cleesily with a weak affirmative.
“What’s the cite for putting a comma before the adverb?” asked the Professor resolutely.