“I seem to have ended up in Delaware!” Tom said, in a quite terrible state.
(feel free to modify based on personal prejudices ;))
“Some lunatic just pinned me down and shaved my head,” said Tom, visibly distressed.
“I’ve got a good mind not to use any punctuation at all” said Tom uncommonly.
“I’m looking for St. Augustine’s defense of Christianity,” Tom said apologetically.
“I need something to put on these pancakes” said Tom, surreptitiously.
(Hey, we made Threadspotting!)
“Have you ever felt a smoother fabric?” Tom asked silkily.
“I think I’m unraveling,” said Tom threadspottily.
“Looks like I’m putting on weight”, said Tom emphatically.
“I’m heading straight for that puffin,” said Tom awkwardly.
“There’s a dead skunk in the middle of the road,” said Tom extinctly.
“I’ll tell you precisely how I broke out of the dogs’ home,” Tom expounded.
“I think I lost my mare, therefore I am going to walk home,” said Tom, putting Descartes before the horse.
“My favorite Wizard of Oz character was the Tin Man”, said Tom heartlessly.
“I hate women” said Tom dismissively.
“R. I. P. Tom,” he said lately.
“I’ve had surgery to make my stomach smaller,” said Tom with abandon.
“I seem to have lost all of my wind,” said Tom disgustedly.
“I think we should take the train that doesn’t stop as much,” Tom said expressly.
“I’m doing that crossword over again,” Tom resolved.
“Don’t you just love Old Faithful?” Tom gushed.