“Ugh! This is the last time I ride the rear seat on this tandem bicycle with Ned after he’s eaten tortillas”, said Tom with the wind running through his hair.
“These new Viagra pills don’t work very well”, said Tom, going off half-cocked.
“On second thought, auto-cannibalism is a bad idea,” said Tom, full of himself.
“The wedding of Amy & Sheldon was marvelous,” said Tom, theoretically.
“Get outta my way! Gotta drain the vein,” Tom said, pissily.
“I get this way every time I drink rum”, Tom said groggily.
“I masturbate every day without fail”, said Tom, without missing a beat.
“That’s TMI!”, Tom’s sister Sandy spelled out.
“Mmmm…tastes like fish!” said Tom, cunningly.
[
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The “Shamy” wedding was on The Big Bang Theory. And since Mayim Bialik is an Orthodox Jewish married woman and Jim Parsons is a gay married man, the idea of the actors getting together in real life is very theoretical.
“I hate losing debates”, said Tom, outspoken.
“If I’d known it was going to turn out like this, I probably would have held my tongue,” said Lucifer, downcast.
“Buh-bye, Lucifer!” said St. Peter, angelically.
“…and don’t worry about smoking down there,” he added, warming to his theme.
“Y’all just shut the fuck up,” said Lucifer, fuming.
“But maybe there’s some wimmen down there”, said Lucifer, horny as Hell.
“I read the 129 books in the series by Victor Appleton really fast,” said Tom, swiftly.
“I’ve finally destroyed every single one of those sickeningly sweet stuffed bears!” said Tom, without a Care in the world.
“Wonder how Jack is doing,” said Wendy Torrance, icily.