(I did that one ages ago, and my Morse was a lot more creative than yours 
)
“I could just do a line of coke right now,” Tom snorted.
“I just adore champagne,” Tom bubbled.
“I have failed to appease the gods Malac and Ra,” said Tom remorselessly.
“I almost feel like a judge today,” Tom said magisterially.
“Flea circus? Pah! I’ve trained an insect to ride a motorbike!” Tom said triumphantly.
“I don’t think that blood pressure reading was valid. Better try again” said Doctor Tom, repulsed.
“Dammit, why can’t I even do basic arithmetic anymore?” asked Tom, nonplussed.
“I want to move somewhere where it’s warm” said Tom, floridly.
“Sesquipedalian rhodomontades further alienate me from Anglican Weltanshauung dogmata,” said Tom antidisestablishmentarianistically.
“Dog food, toothpaste, milk … I’m sure there was something else I was supposed to buy?” said Tom listlessly.
“Oh, jeez, great - another flat,” Tom said tiredly.
“What kind of idiot puts soap flakes in a washing machine?!” Tom foamed.
“I cannot seem to keep a girlfriend for any length of time!” said Tom unsteadily.
“I suppose August 9, 1974 must’ve been a pretty sucky day for Richard Nixon,” Tom said resignedly.
“Dammit, the court found me negligent and ordered me to pay damages again”, Tom retorted.
“I can talk really, really, really, really, really fast” said Tom, swiftly.
“Every day I wear the same dull brown clothes,” said Tom redundantly.
“I helped deliver my baby,” said Tom, accordingly.
“The Bronte sisters were the *greatest *English novelists ever! And the brontosaurus was the coolest dinosaur!”, Tom thundered.
“Even as a child I liked butchering kittens,” said Tom categorically.