“I’ve just discovered some new islands, right near the Aland Islands! Whatever shall I call them?” said Tom blandly.
“I’ll be going to a big meeting of Star Trek fans in Los Angeles next week,” Tom said laconically.
(Very good! 
[noparse])[/noparse]
“From the edge of the green you shouldn’t need to putt at all,” Tom chipped in.
“Everyone ante up!” Tom chipped in.
“Listen! Big Ben is sounding the noon bells!” Tom chimed in.
“Did you know they renamed Big Ben the Elizabeth Tower for her 60th (Diamond) anniversary as queen?” asked Tom jubilantly.
“Nothing like a stroll on the surface of Mercury to begin your tour of the Solar System!” Tom said warmly.
“Did you know that Big Ben is the largest bell within the tower, not the tower itself, and so no such ‘renaming’ ever took place?” said Tom campanologically.
“I did not know that. What am I supposed to do, question the very creeping things that go upon the ground?” said Tom, askance.
“Did you know that those little birds have the same name as women’s breasts?” Tom tittered.
“And the meaning of the Grand Tentons Mountain Range?” Tom said, keeping me abreast.
“No, no, I was just reading your T-shirt! I swear!” said Tom, busted.
“Why can’t we have some equal-opportunity jokes about external anatomy?” said Tom, testily.
“This new bra I’ve bought you is supposed to do wonders for keeping your shape.” Tom informed me.
“Being a Tolkien fan is one thing, but who goes around memorising the names of Thorin’s sister and the dwarf who was King after him?” said Tom disdainfully.
“Am I too late to get into the exterior body parts conversation?” Tom butted in.
“And the subject of sxsm reared its ugly head,” “Tom” pointed out.
“You have to be well armed to come into this thread, I see” said Tom, handing off the next hint.
“Thumb fun!” countered Tom, jerkingly.
“So now we’re going to hear every penis nickname?” asked Tom, Dick, and Harry