Lovely - some real groaners - my favorites!
“But I’m just a border guard,” he said haltingly.
*Sue Duhnym: “I’m moving to San Francisco,” he said gaily. *
“I’m moving away from San Francisco,” he said shakily.
“But Godfather, I’m no snitch!” he squealed.
“Wipe your nose!” he sneered snottily.
Ick.
I prefer rogues to imbeciles because they sometimes take a rest.
Alexandre Dumas the Younger (1824-1895)
“St. Louis is an interesting city,” he noted, archly.
Chaim Mattis Keller
I love to hear the church bells," he chimed in.
"I won’t pay the bill, " Tom said unremittingly.
“My friend, you need a toupee”, he stated baldly. Okay, that was lame.
“I hate school!” he said testily.
“I’d rather watch TV,” he hissed vacantly.
“Not until you finish your homework,” Mom stated studiously.
“This has never happened to me before,” he protested limply.
“I just never got around to planting a garden this year,” she said lackadaisically.
“The processor in this computer is a Pentium II,” he stated intelligently.
“I adore Tennyson,” she said idyllically.
“Get down from that ladder at once!” he said standoffishly.
“Look out for that sandwich!” he said heroicly.
Oh, man…I suck at this!
“Accidents will happen.” mumbled Jay Armes, offhandedly.
–for people outside of the Southwest you may substitute Captain Hook.
how about “Thank goodness for life preservers!” he said buoyantly?
Uh, oh…I think I may be addicted.
“All heterosexuals advance one pace!” commanded the Drill Instructor straightforwardly.
“I can see your panty lines,” he said leeringly.
“Is that a tornado siren?,” she asked alarmingly.
“Kill 'em all,” he said murderously.
“I’m a Satan worshiper,” she stated devilishly.
“Gimme another beer,” he demanded drunkenly.
“you’re cut off,” she replied finally.
Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
- Ambrose Bierce
“Who was the Pope who came between Anastasius and Zosimus?” he asked innocently.
“I never learned to play Bridge,” she said wistfully.
“Watch me shake my pom-poms,” she said cheerfully.
“That varmint stole my land!” she exclaimed distractedly.
“I love Southern cooking,” he said grittily.
“Mrs. Clinton sure can tell a joke,” he said hilariously.
“Elizabeth sure can’t,” he added dolefully.
“How disarming!” said Captain Hook, off-handedly.