Bookkeeper, cleaning, ironing, emptying litter boxes, doing dishes and watching Harry Potter is certainly my idea of manly. If you vacuum, too, give me a call. 
Great story, Rue. Dogs are sneaky critters.
OTOH, kitties are up-front with their distain for humans (except when they are hungry, or need their litter box cleaned, or want their belly rubbed.) I think these two (Havoc and Pixel) could take Bonnie 2 out of 3 falls.
[end kitty hijack] We now return you to your regularly scheduled dog story.
And the first (sorta) hijack is food-related. Good job!
But how do you raise your hand from below the equator? And is that really a hand? Should we be shielding the children?
Hello everybody! Nothing happened on my weekend, because nothing ever does, but today I go back to the states. Not permanently, I’m going back for my daughter’s wedding. I am going to state here and then leave it alone that in my opinion I am not old enough to have a daughter that’s getting married! On a brighter note, my younger daughter moves to Kent State today. So at least one of my kids is going to be all edjamacated. My boy begins his senior year of high school this month. When did they all get so old? Huh? So this evening I take a bus from Vancouver to Seattle, and then I take a 5:30 flight to Phoenix and then I take a flight to Cleveland and then my son picks me up at the airport. I hope. Then I try to be helpful and Mother of the Bridey, then I cry while my baby gets married, (ok, she’s 23 but she’s still too young), and then I drive to Philly with my mother and 2 of my brothers so I can stay there for a bit while I get a passport. And yes, I should have gotten one before this, but I’ve been back forth to Canada without one for so long that I just forgot! Then I get to come back here, and I hope when I do my only room mate will be my husband, instead of my husband and his 2 buddies. Cause they’re nice and all but they are cramping our style. Well, that’s all I got. See you all when I get back, whenever that will be.
Well, okay, maybe a paw. 
Draelin, what’s a Pagan Pride Day?
Thanks, Taters
You look too young to have a 23-year old daughter! 23 is so young–she’s just a baby. They grow up fast, don’t they?
Melli, (I’m going with the alternate spelling, because it looks really cool, and my for-real nickname is Mellie (or Nellie or Millie), so if I call you Mellie I might think I’m talking to myself and that would be really confusing) for being the new kid on the block, you also get a free chandelier! I think Cartooniverse has it now, but I haven’t seen him around for a while, so we might have to track him down and get the chandelier. Because we don’t want you to be chandelier-less.
Draelin, what kind of refreshments do you have at Hell’s Bridal Shower? It sounds like it should involve flaming cheese and flaming bananas, or maybe liverwurst and limburger cheese sandwiches. Or lutefisk and haggis.
Bobbio, got any photos of you in a Speedo yet? I’m still waiting impatiently!
Anaamika, sorry about your boss! I hate being blamed for things I can’t control, because really, what are you supposed to do? It’s Monday, so tomorrow will be a better day, I promise!
Taters, I’ve been extra-sleepy this morning, too. Maybe we just have a case of the Mondays. I need a nap.
Thank you oh-so-much. I was really frustrated this morning, almost to the point of tears, but then I realized once again - we don’t work in a life-or-death situation. And she’s pissed, and needs someone to take it out on someone, and that someone happens to be me. :rolleyes: Oh well.
GillianBoardman, congratulations on the wedding!
Thank you. I’m 43. Which makes it obvious that I was even younger than she is when I got married and had babies. But I’ve told her that wasn’t smart. And after all her dad and I are not married anymore so that should tell her something. But she just says I’m older than you were. An argument which makes it clear that she is not old enough! Oh well, you do your best and then you got to let them live their lives. I hope everything is wonderful for her, and I’ll be there when it is not. (This is not doom & gloom prophecy. This is simply acknowledgement that life, given the chance, will bite you in the ass. Just ask Tommy, and Bonnie)
I think I’m going to have that embroidered on a pillow. That’s one of the wisest things I’ve ever heard, possibly second only to something the guy who lived across the hall from me in my college dorm said once: “It’s in human nature to fuck up our lives.”
Mellie, Pagan Pride Day is basically just a day for all us heathens to get together without the neighbors staring. (Which they definitely do when we hold rituals in my friend’s backyard–“Oh, no! They’re … they’re dancing and singing!!! That can’t be religion because they’re having fun!!!”) It’s kinda like a Gay Pride day, only not. 
I live in New Jersey, but I’m going to the one in Maine, just because I have several friends in the area and they already had a vendor table. I don’t know if this will help, but it’s the Witchvox page for the event.
I had more to say, but had to post and get off the page quick. sigh The owner of my company’s daughter is here today–will be for the next two weeks, I believe. She’s eleven years old and a delightful kid–who won’t leave me alone. She comes over to borrow my highlighters and ask me opinions on things. She talks and talks and talks and I can’t tell her to go away because she’s the owner’s daughter. Then she takes my pens–and I make damn sure to tell her that those are not company pens, those are my pens I bought with my money, and she’d better bring them back. The best thing I can do is eventually complain to my VP (who is the owner’s sister) and let Aunt Nancy yell at her to leave people alone. I’m just thrilled she didn’t bring the damned dog with her today. Because a Doberman really makes the whole company feel safe and trusted. (The woman who sits behind me is scared to death of that dog.)
Anyhow, Magic Eyes, we just had regular food at the bridal shower, but if it had been up to me I might have made them all eat ground glass, in retrospect. Both the bride and the groom’s mothers are behaving as if they were slighted in some way. If they’d wanted to help, they knew how to get in touch with us, and isn’t the shower the bridesmaids’ job in the first place? I don’t know what the hell we were supposed to do. Make them stand up and take a bow? Let them decide what we’d eat, when we’d have it, where we’d have it, and who was invited? (And I should point out here that neither one of them RSVP’d to me–I knew they’d come, of course, but my phone number and e-mail address were right there on the invitation. That’s how you get in touch with us if you want to help. In the case of the groom’s mother, maybe she should have just said something to her daughter who lives in the same effing house about wanting to help.)
I can’t believe that after all I did for this damn thing, people are upset about it. I really don’t want to have more stress about this now that it’s finally over. This is the reason people climb clock towers with rifles.
Somebody owns your company’s daughter? :eek:
Dang it! Bobbio beat me to it!
I was 21 when I got married. Too young. But it was a learning experience.
Draelin, why do people get so self-centered at other people’s weddings? Everyone wants to be the center of attention. It should be fun, but instead it’s stressful. The bride had a good time, and that’s all that really matters.
As soon as I posted it, I knew that was going to happen. But I couldn’t be bothered trying to figure out the proper term.
And somebody just tried to run me down in a parking lot at lunchtime. Because it’s legal to go 45 and not yield to pedestrians who were halfway across the street because when they looked, you were a hundred yards away.
The whole world is out to get me today. And I know you’re all in on it.
They’re all killing me. And I’ve just found out that the groom’s mother took credit for the invitations I made. Maybe she’d be more comfortable as a bridesmaid. grrrrr
I feel so sorry for the bride. That woman sounds like the mother-in-law from hell. Have you been to Etiquette Hell? It’s entertaining, but also very, very frightening. Some people are just nuts.
Somebody linked me to that when I first started complaining about the wedding. The funny thing is that I’ve known the groom’s mother for almost five years. I love her. She’s always been very kind, thoughtful, and welcoming whenever her son would invite everyone over. She insists that I can come over and use the pool anytime, and she really is a great lady.
I don’t know what the hell happened to her.
The bride’s mother, on the other hand … well, I’ve known her almost twenty years. And while I do like her a lot, I like her most because she’s not my mother.
Where the Hell is Swampy?
I need a good <snerk> right about now…
Hoo-kay - Note to self: Do not piss off Draelin. Seriously, it sounds as if bride’s mother and groom’s mother need to take a chill pill. Unfortunately, there’s no pleasing some people. You did good, and that’s all you need to worry about. Let the rest of the crap roll off your back. What’s important is that the bride was happy. It was, after all, a shower for HER.
I was 22 when I got married and am 41 now. I’m still married to the same man, but we’ve had our share of ups and downs. I love him more every day.
Your revenge:
- Drink a lot of coffee. A lot.
- Go use her pool. Invite her in.
- Stand right next to her in the water.
- Increase the water level and temperature of said pool water.
- Get out and don’t tell her what you did.
Childish, but satisfying.
I am now using a different mouse and keyboard since I posted earlier today. This keyboard has no backspace key. It is white, very thin and it is already beating the bejesus out of my wrists. And the mouse is a one -click type. (see, no backspace.) Not the left button and right button model I’ve had since I started using mouses. Not sure I like this new setup.
If only the rest of the world were as wise as you. I’m running out of places to hide the bodies.
And since we’re tossing this stuff around–my parents were married a week after they graduated college. They’ve been together 36 years, now. They tried to hide their ups and downs from the kids, but they definitely had them. They’re driving each other crazy in retired bliss these days, and I don’t think they’ve ever been happier.