Too Good to be True: ULs

[Lumpy]

There was a thread http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=18047 for creating your own Urban Legend, but it was devoted solely to the new dollar coins. So I decided to start a thread for creating Urban Legends and/or funny fake news items ala The Onion. Here’s mine:

X-Men to become X-Rated Men?

Marvel Comics announced today that it will be launching a new line of magazines that will offer a radical new take on the genre. Currently being called Adult Marvel, the line will feature the characters from Marvel’s standard titles in an alternate “mature” universe that will include graphic nudity and sexually explicit themes.

Marvel spokesmen said that the move was part of Marvel Comics continuing efforts to revamp it’s flagging comic line. Sources also said that the move was inspired by the success of alternate comic publishers such as Image and Dark Horse Comics, along with DC Comics Vertigo line, which feature darker, more cynical themes, along with more graphic sexuality and violence. The new Marvel titles will be for adult readers only, and will be carried only by outlets that already feature adult material.

[Silver_Fire]

In this thread, UncleBeer says:

*Originally posted by UncleBeer *
**Actually, someone else floated this idea on this board earlier. Said poster was hooted down by the Teeming Millions with great scorn and derision. Maybe it ain’t such a good idea to promote this on a message board that claims to dedicate itself to eradicating ignorance. I suggest you reconsider your malformed intention with dispatch. **

I don’t think this thread is such a good idea.

[Duck_Duck_Goose]

[anxiously scanning Silver Fire’s post to see what it spells out along the left-hand side]

hmmm… “II”…roman numerals meaning 2…two what? two-faced, too tired, to be or not to be…

Maybe it’s in Esperanto?

[Crunchy_Frog]

DDG, you need to think outside the box.

“II” isn’t just Roman numeral for “2” If you turn it on it’s side you get =

So it’s Equal or something. All things created equal? Maybe she’s referring to the sweetener Equal and thinks that this thread is a sweet idea while pretending to back up UncleBeer’s previous comments.

[Silver_Fire]

You guys are weird.

[Crunchy_Frog]

Ok, reading down the left this time, all we get is the letter “Y”

“Why?” she asks.

You know, Silver Fire if you would just type it all out at once instead of dropping us one word at a time, we’d all get your message much faster.

Methinks you should work on your communication techniques, cuz you aren’t being very clear here at all.

[Upham]

You goofs! you’re going about this all wrong!

You’ve got to take every second letter in every second word, then add up the the letters number value, divide it by 13 and you get the date of the second coming.

And you people think you’re fighting ignorance…

[Silver_Fire]

Hey, just because you don’t like the way I communicate,
even though I think I do a fine job, that doesn’t give
you the right to try to
change me.
Right?
Unless you think that you’re opinion means more than
nothing to me. But then you’d be wrong. See,
Crunchy, I’m not like all the little followers that try so
hard to please people here. I’m here to have fun, whether
you like it or not. So there and stuff. Yeah. Or something.

Hehehe…

[Crunchy_Frog]

*Originally posted by Silver Fire *
**Hey, just because you don’t like the way I communicate,
even though I think I do a fine job, that doesn’t give
you the right to try to
change me.
Right?
Unless you think that you’re opinion means more than
nothing to me. But then you’d be wrong. See,
Crunchy, I’m not like all the little followers that try so
hard to please people here. I’m here to have fun, whether
you like it or not. So there and stuff. Yeah. Or something.

Hehehe…
**

You need to chill out a bit, Silver Fire.
On one hand, I’ve always liked chatting with you, but this is
unbelievable that you would just go off on me like this.
Am I suddenly not worthy to banter with you and kid like before?
Really now, the day you and I would get into a spat was never
expected, at least by me.
So what’s your problem today? Feeling cranky? Is there an
odor in your home you can’t quite place so you take it out on
Crunchy Frog? I ought to take you to the Pit for this
unprovoked attack on me, but I’m feeling above that sort of
thing today. Perhaps we should just ignore one another now,
especially after this little bout of visciousness.

[iampunha]

Silver, Crunchy . . . you’re either channeling Annie X-Mas or Anniz.

Step away from the return key, and slowly back away! Hands in the air!

WHOA . . . on second thought, Crunchy, fly zipped up, THEN hands in the air.

[Crunchy_Frog]

How does this involve you, iampunha?
Everyone always has to step in when it’s not their business.
You may want to learn when to step in and when not to, okay
buddy? This is between Silver Fire and me.
I don’t go running around telling you to zip up and put your
gerbil back in the cage, do I? I think it’s really getting
bad with some Dopers wanting to step in during some situations.
You get my meaning?

I’m having too much fun with this.

[Crunchy_Frog]

**How does this involve you, iampunha?
Everyone always has to step in when it’s not their business.
You may want to learn when to step in and when not to, okay
buddy? This is between Silver Fire and me.
I don’t go running around telling you to zip up and put your
gerbil back in the cage, do I? I think it’s really getting
bad with some Dopers wanting to step in during some situations
on other people’s toes when they are clearly not needed.
You get my meaning?

I’m having too much fun with this.

[Silver_Fire]

*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog *
You need to chill out a bit, Silver Fire.
On one hand, I’ve always liked chatting with you, but this is
unbelievable that you would just go off on me like this.
Am I suddenly not worthy to banter with you and kid like before?
Really now, the day you and I would get into a spat was never
expected, at least by me.
So what’s your problem today? Feeling cranky? Is there an
odor in your home you can’t quite place so you take it out on
Crunchy Frog? I ought to take you to the Pit for this
unprovoked attack on me, but I’m feeling above that sort of
thing today. Perhaps we should just ignore one another now,
especially after this little bout of visciousness.

We could ignore each other…
On the other hand,
we could run off to an island resort somewhere and… Oh,
you’re taken. Nevermind…
Or we could just carry on like normal.
Understand though that I have a
really big crush on you and I’m
extremely jealous that someone
already snatched you up. Are you sure you’re in
love? Are you really, really sure? Because
love can be confusing. Maybe
you just really like
this chick. She might not be “The One”, you know? I guess I should stop
harassing you. You love her.
I need to just deal with that.
Not that I wouldn’t normally put up a good find. I’m a smart
kid though, I know when I’ve been beat.
Sigh…
Oh well.