10: A truck full of dougnuts :smack:
Anyone care to come up with number 9?
[QUOTE=Tapioca Dextrin]
10: A truck full of dougnuts :smack:
Anyone care to come up with number 9?
[/QUOTE]
doughnuts :wally
I can’t find a cite for this but I remember reading a story about a guy who tried to steal a sports bag from a bunch of people stood around in an airport. I think the bag was just left on the floor behind the group of people and the opportunist thief picked it up and legged it. One thing the thief obviously wasn’t aware of was that the group of people stood with the bag were from the USA athletics team including Maurice Green, who is by no means a slow runner.
Needless to say the thief didn’t get very far before he was caught.
Sewage, by siphoning it out of a chemical toilet in a mobile home in the mistaken belief that it is gasoline.
OK, it’s an UL, but still not a good thing to steal.
[QUOTE=Tapioca Dextrin]
10: A truck full of dougnuts :smack:
Anyone care to come up with number 9?
[/QUOTE]
Frankly, I find this part of the story the most amazing:
9: a completely full, unserviced Port-O-Potty.
[future urband legend] when the truck left the police pound it was devoid of doughnuts … no one knows why [/ful]
[QUOTE=Tapioca Dextrin]
10: A truck full of dougnuts :smack:
Anyone care to come up with number 9?
[/QUOTE]
I’d imagine that Doug would like very much to keep his nuts, thanks.
Passage on a flight from Great Britain to the US…
[QUOTE=chaoticbear]
I’d imagine that Doug would like very much to keep his nuts, thanks.
[/QUOTE]
I dunno, maybe that’s why we’re supposed to beware of him.
A friend told me the story of her brother, who owns a lawn-cleaning business. (Professional pooper-scooper, I call it.) He would put the turds in plastic grocery bags, tie them up and deposit them in paper shopping bags with handles. Everybody saved those kinds of bags for him, so he had selections of bags from The Gap and Bloomingdales and other mall stores.
Once, while he was cleaning a yard, a kid ran up, snatched several of those bags out of the back of his truck and ran like hell. Everyone always says they wish they could have seen the kid’s face when he opened his bags of stolen booty.
Dog Poop: number 7 on the list of things not to steal.
[QUOTE=Lissa]
Everybody saved those kinds of bags for him, so he had selections of bags from The Gap and Bloomingdales and other mall stores.
[/QUOTE]
Heh. Never was a slogan more appropriate :eek:
I believe it was last year that a guy stole a beer truck in New Brunswick, Canada.
The only problem is the beer was destined for Mexico and a Spanish labeled local beer tends to stand out in Canada. :smack:
Just look for the guys with the milk-stains on the front of their shirts!
An active surveillance security camera.
A hot stove.
[QUOTE=Lissa]
A friend told me the story of her brother, who owns a lawn-cleaning business. (Professional pooper-scooper, I call it.) He would put the turds in plastic grocery bags, tie them up and deposit them in paper shopping bags with handles. Everybody saved those kinds of bags for him, so he had selections of bags from The Gap and Bloomingdales and other mall stores.
Once, while he was cleaning a yard, a kid ran up, snatched several of those bags out of the back of his truck and ran like hell. Everyone always says they wish they could have seen the kid’s face when he opened his bags of stolen booty.
Dog Poop: number 7 on the list of things not to steal.
[/QUOTE]
Not stolen, but a funny story involving a big sack o’ dog turds.
The neighbor across the alley from my dad had several large dogs, and bought large sacks of dog food. He used the empty dog food sacks to hold the dog turds left behind by the large dogs. Lots of turds.
He’d throw the sacks into the dumpster right behind dad’s fence. The bottom rotted out of the dumpster and they had to clean up the spilled garbage before they could place a new dumpster.
The spilled garbage included at least one very large bag of dog crap. A bag that had gotten wet and had no strength left. The guys picking it up didn’t know this.
My dad listens from behind the fence as the discovery was made.
“Oh shit! Shit!”
“What is it?”
“SHIT! DOG SHIT! A bag of %(&# DOG SHIT!”
He never made a peep, he was afraid they’d think it was his bag of dog shit. He felt sorry for the guys cleaning it up, but you’d never guess it by the way he was laughing when he told the story.
I reckon a parrot isn’t a great thing to steal when it gets ornery.
There’s more here.
[QUOTE=Mama Zappa]
Oxytocin.
Just look for the guys with the milk-stains on the front of their shirts!
[/QUOTE]
Ha!
You made me laugh. I would love to see those guys when they take it.
