I quit smoking two weeks ago(a great feat for me) and instantly took up chewing tobacco. Not the fine cut coffee-ground looking, fiber-glass-laced(I checked Snopes but came up empty-handed), foul-smelling garbage, but the whole leaf stuff. I have settled on RED MAN® brand, complete with the non-p.c. insignia of a solemn-looking Native American man in a war bonnet and the Fresh-Trak® Moisture-Lock® pouch.
I have considered that neither cigarettes or chewing tobacco are particularily healthy, but if I wanted to defend the healthful aspects of tobacco products(if there are any) I would apply for a job at Phillip Morris or the like.
On to the list!:
It’s way cheaper. - One pouch costs four dollars and lasts me two days or longer, roughly three dollars cheaper than cigarettes per day. I paid well over five dollars for cigarettes and save almost $1,100 dollars a year.
It is conducive a more productive work environment. - My coworkers don’t care(I asked) if I sit in my cubicle and spit into a pop can or used espresso cup, whereas smoking would be prohibited. I am no longer required to leave my desk for cigarette breaks every hour and my concentration is not repeatedly broken.
I smell better. - Now I don’t smell like a stinky bar unless I go to one. On a related note: chewing the larger leaf version doesn’t deposit embarrasing granules in my teeth like the fine cut version would.
I can pull it off in public places. - I don’t necessarily have to broadcast my vice by wearing an obtrusive bulge in my lower lip. If in public, I can wear smaller portions on either side of my mouth and it is virtually unnoticeable. People are less likely to “throw a fit” if I am seen at Safeco Baseball Field with a chew in, whereas I would possibly be thrown out and “fined or imprisoned” if I decided to light up a smoke. “No Chewing” signs are rare, if even in existence, therefore it is approached with a more relaxed attitude.
As far as a novice like I(me?) can tell, all brands taste exactly the same. - Of the three “uncut” tobacco brands that I have seen and bought from my local supermarket, the only distinguishing factors were price and packaging. They sell RED MAN®, BEECH-NUT®, and LEVI GARRETT®. Also, I no longer need to specify that I would like “such and such and in a box”. It seems less confusing to clerks.
Price Comparison:[list]
[li]The most expensive brand, BEECH-NUT® @ $4.39 per 3 oz. pouch. It boasts that it is “BALANCED AND BETTER”, and “Softer & Moister”. I don’t know what either of those two statements actually mean, but I did not notice any difference whatsoever.[/li]
[li]The mid-priced RED MAN®, @ $4.09 per 3 oz. pouch, had a fancy “zip-lock” pouch which I determined was definitely effective at retaining moisture. They boast that it is “AMERICA’S BEST CHEW®”. As a pouch can last me up to three days, the “zip-lock” becomes “necessary” or advantageous, at any rate, I noticed a substantial difference. I currently agree that it is “AMERICA’S BEST CHEW®”, because of the closure system.[/li]
[li] The lowest-priced LEVI GARRETT®, @ a modest(comparitively) $3.49 per 3 oz. pouch, had equally modest brown packaging, as opposed to the bright red lettering of RED MAN®, and the Japanese “rising sun” design of the BEECH-NUT package. It has a picture on the front of an “Old West” style mercantile complete with a horse-drawn wagon.[/li]I have yet to make my way to a smoke shop and try other brands of chewing tobacco, if they exist.
I have tried chewing garden-fresh tobacco leaves that grew “wild” in the Kalalau Valley of Kauai. I admit that they did supress my nicotine fits and I eventually grew accustomed to the taste and even enjoyed it. It could have tasted exactly the same as when the slaves harvested tobacco over two hundred years ago, though they may have had special curing processes that included sugar, like the store-bought stuff does. It made for an interesting(imagined) historical reinactment.
If anyone has other brands to suggest I would be interested in hearing them.
With a cigarette, you can only litter when the cigarette is done with. With “a pinch between the cheek and gum” you can repulse people with waste all the way down the street. (insert winkie smiley)
I have three things to say on the subject of chewing tobacco:
Congratulations on quitting smoking. For all its faults, chewing is probably a good substitute, although I hope only a temporary one.
I used to work in a plant that made HIGHLY explosive nitrocellulose (don’t ask). The folks running the plant were rightly paranoid about addicted smokers, and ran a number of things to help them/avoid smoking at the plant. At the door before you entered the plant was a smoking tobacco vending machine (something I’ve never seen anywhere else). This, believe me, is one situation where you want the hard-core nicotine addicts to have access to a chaw.
One of my fellow students at one of my universities was a confirmed chewer. Since cuspidors and spittoons have gone out of style, he had to use whatever he could find. No wastebasket was safe. This cured you of looking through the garbage for that paper you thought you threw out. Major grossout.
Here a tip for those of you that are new to the tobacco-chewing scene. By the way, I discovered this about 12 years ago (when I used to chew tobacco), so don’t let anyone else take credit for it.
Sometimes you have tobacco in your mouth when you’re in the company of people. Maybe you’re in your car with someone, or you’re just walking down the street of in the mall or in a classroom. Now, you’ll have to periodically spit out the juices and saliva. So how do you do this without grossing out the people near you?
Here’s how:
Take an empty can of soda. Also, find a plastic straw. When you’re ready to spit, simply force the liquid that’s in your mouth through the straw and into the can. Its very easy to do. And to the other people, it just looks likes you’re drinking some soda.
I’ve used this trick in classes in college, while driving with my family, playing roulette and craps in Atlantic City, etc. Pretty much everywhere, since I chewed tobacco for 8+ years.
Now a word of warning: Don’t leave your can lying around. I was doing this at a party and using a beer can. When finished, I threw the straw away and left the can on the counter. A 275+ pound drunk guy thought that the can was his beer! He took a big swig (of my saliva and tobacco juice), and proceeded to spit and puke all over the floor. My friends and I knew exactly what happened. Luckily, everyone kept quiet or else I wouldn’t be here passing on this advice to you.
This has absolutely nothing to do with chewing tobacco you pervert…
Seriously - Levi is good but to me the best is a plug of Cannonball. It is a pressed ‘plug’ but the flavor is way stronger so you need less chew for the same taste. I also like it because it is more compact and easier to carry.
Jackknifed Juggernaut, I beat you to the straw trick by about 4 years, though I doubt I was the first.
Actually it’s much simpler and less offensive to others if you just avoid spitting* altogether. I hear ya, “that’s gross” or “I’ll puke”, like anything new, start out slowly and build up to it. Take a smaller amount and have a favorite beverage around to wash it down. Eventually you’ll be spit free.
*Not recommended practice for you chewers of leaf products.
As an aside, how is it that public buildings can ban all tobacco use (including chewing tobacco) under the “Clean Air Act”?
Some years back, I shared a cubicle with an engineer who chewed and spit in a styrofoam cup. As expected, he knocked it over, soiling the pile of blueprints on his desk and sending me to another cube while he cleaned his mess. Shortly thereafter, chaw was banned in the workplace.
It was disgusting beyond description… and he didn’t manage to get a girlfriend till he gave up chewing… Was there a connection? Who can say…
I do Skoal Classic myself. It never ceases to tickle me when hiking or canoeing and my exhausted friends are jonesing for a smoke but are too worn out to have one. That alone will be worth the trachaeotomy.
Its not that popular yet. I once got handcuffed in a bowling alley after I sniffed because people thought I was using drugs. Then the policeman had no idea what it was. I showed him on the container where it said it was a tobacco product and he still didn’t believe me. He called in to the station and asked several people if they had heard of it. Luckily one did, and he let me go.
I was on New Grad Rotation for about six months at the company I worked for after college. One of my stints was in the Lab Building. The most important thing I learned there was, if you accidentally drop something in a Lab Buidling trash can, just let it go. Doesn’t matter what it is, just let it go.
Even if it’s a set of keys.
Even if it’s a $10,000 engagement ring. For God’s sake, don’t put your hand in any of the trash cans in the Lab Building!!
9)No more fire-related cigarette burns. - It was always difficult to explain those burns in the upholstery to my dad when I used his car back in high-school. Also, every nylon or fleece jacket or pants that I have owned have eventually become riddled with holes.
In any event, I would have to throw my entire spitty on the Mona Lisa(& more) to equal all of the damage cause by those tiny smoldering embers on the end of cigarettes that we have endearingly named “cherries”, almost the antithesis of their relatively docile namesake.
10)I can do it on the airplane. I may be met by opposition from passengers or a flight attendant and even asked to remove it, if I were so careless as to make it obvious(straw maneuver in effect), but I would not be instantly and manditorily carted off to jail and fined heavily as if I were to attempt smoking. Even so, I could always pop a squat in the lavatory(provided I could bear the smell) with a magazine and a chaw and there would be no tell-tale lingering evidence. I understand this falls into the category of “Pulling it off in pubic places”, but as I am required to fly alot for my job, I thought this ought to be mentioned and even added to the list.
Other research suggests that if I bought a pound of butter and gnawed on that throughout the day that I would save approximately $1500 dollars per year. Then I could really liven up the party when I go into full cardiac arrest and proceed to defecate in my pants. Otherwise I could buy two Big Mac®s at lunch and a steak for dinner, but I found that to be less cost-efficient.
Otherwise I could buy two Big Mac®s at lunch and a steak for dinner, but I found that to be less cost-efficient.