Do that, and your fate will be spoken of in hushed tones for millennia. You shall suffer in unspeakably grotesque ways. I shall call down monstrosities from beyond the stars, beasts from the depths of the Earth and allow them to perform their unspeakable will upon you. The ghouls shall dance in your flayed skin even as Those From Outside bear away your screaming soul to He Who Shall Not Be Named. And the shoggoths will feed upon your shattered bones and ruptured flesh.
If you do that one more time I will turn this thread around and we will go straight home.
Do that again and I’ll make Glenn Beck put on a Burger King mask and do the Macarena at your birthday party.
You just stop it right now or I’ll call Madonna and tell her to adopt you!
Do that and Mr. Beck will repeat his performance naked.
I will take you, take you far beyond. The places you’ll see, the places you’ll go! First we’ll visit torment, where your flesh will feel as if billions of pins were focused at each point, that fire was searing your very nervous system itself. Then we shall visit sin. Your mind, your mind shall be filled with all of it, every act of genocide, every infidelity, every act of torture, the sickening thoughts of the powerful and those who oppose them. Every underhanded rotten scheme perpetuated by the greed of man shall overcome your senses, even every little niggling doubt about a true friend shall occupy your mind. Even if for a brief moment, your experiencing this side of eternity shall fill you with rage, with despair. And then… nothing.
You will feel alone, truly alone. A conscious nonexistence - the final irony. Have you ever felt alone? It is madness, it is pain, it is the complete understanding that where you are no matter the joy you want to share or the fears you need to purge no one, nothing, will ever be there to hear you.
Oh, but you will not be truly alone, my friend. There exist Things at the edge of the universe, those that enjoy finding those foolish… or unlucky enough to venture to the boundaries of Their domain. They are beings that would consider the creations of Lovecraft to be fit for nothing more than entertaining children. Incomprehensible. Unknowable. They may decide to grace you with their presence, play with you now and then. Do not fight, do not feel fear if you can. It heightens the taste, increases the fun. And then They shall deposit you back into the very pocket of reality They took you from, perhaps deciding to visit you again from time to time, friend… for all eternity, neverending. This is what awaits those who cross me
Jragon,your mom sounds like a real peach. For making me read that, I shall take a meat grinder to your butt, fry the mush into a patty, slather it with Miracle Whip, and feed it to your kids while I make you dance the polka for thier amusement.
I will fart in your general direction, and cause a hazmat incident.
I’m gonna rip off your head, and shit down your neck!!
Don’t make me take my belt off!
2 Words: Wet Willy.
I’ll eat ya face with a spatula!
First I’m gonna hurt you. Then I’m going to fuck you. Then I’m going to hurt you some more.
And maybe, I’ll fuck you some more too.
“If you don’t behave, you’re going to Hell when you die!”
I am going to lock you in a room with Rand Rover.
I’m going to rip off your arm and beat you to death with it.
I’m going to rip off your husband’s cock and choke you to death on it.
If you don’t drop your sword this instant, I will cut off your feet below the ankles, then your hands at the wrists. Next your nose. The next thing you lose will be your left eye, followed by the right. Your ears you keep, and I’ll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish, every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out: “Dear God, what is that thing?” will echo in your perfect ears. That is what “to the pain” means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery, forever.
And I’ll do it, too. Don’t think I won’t.
Wait 'til your father gets home …
Stop it right now, or so help me Og I WILL resurrect Michael Jackson.