Totally embarassing/funny artifacts found from your childhood

My previous kid-oriented thread reminded me of something I found from when I was a lil’ one…

When I was 9, I had a crush on a boy in my class named Jeff. He hated my guts, but I could have cared less. I wouldn’t leave him alone. One day at home, thinking of Jeff as usual, I took a little scrap of paper and a crayon, drew a picture, and stashed it in a box of favorite things in my closet.

Years went by, and I forgot about the box. Then one day when I was about 16 I cleaned out my closet and found the box way at the back of a high shelf. I opened it up and found, besides other little treasures long forgotten, the picture.

It was a drawing of me and Jeff. Or rather, two wobbly, stick-straight figures standing facing each other. On the one which was myself, I had generously added two torpedo-shaped, gigantic boobs. On the figure of Jeff I had apparently had to cave in his chest to allow room for the gigantiboobs, giving him a rather warped posture. On Jeff, I had attempted to draw what I thought a penis would look like (it looked like a twig with a ball on the end). The figure’s eyes were closed and I had drawn them kissing with what looked remarkably like fish lips. I topped the picture off with the huge caption, "I WANNA DO IT WITH JEFF!! "

Oh my God. I’m so glad my mom never found that. Hell, if she saw it now I think I’d die. :eek:

My sister found an old school dictionary of mine from when I was about 8 or 9.

I had underlined the word “Fart”.

I kept a diary when I was in 8th grade or so and it’s really kind of pathetic. I go on about this boy in my class and how I’m going to get some new clothes and put Sun-In in my hair to make myself more appealing. I wrote all about this party my mom let me have I wrote pages and pages about how I was going to set up the food and the games and stuff. Then, the next page is about how not one person showed up to my party. Kinda pathetic and sad, really.

I guess that’s not a good example of a funny relic, but I wrote it out so I’m posting it. :smiley:

I officially cleaned out the remaining stuff from my old bedroom last summer, and came across some beauts.

The one I’m remebering best at the moment was a Polaroid I took in 6th grade. I’d gone into the bathroom and school and stuck it over the top of the stall my friend was in and snapped a picture. The photo turned out to be largely of stall wall, with my friend’s befuddled, squinting face looking into the lens from the bottom right corner. I’d totally forgotten about doing that until I saw the photo, and it made me laugh all over again. (She laughed about it, too, when she was done being mad at me.)