It’s been a long time since I’ve been on any forum, so I may not be up to speed with “proper terminology” if you will so I’m asking for help. In another thread, I had posted in response to someone that obviously I had touched a nerve. What I meant was I pissed this person off. I had no hidden agenda, was just trying to word it politely. Maybe I didn’t piss the poster off, it’s not like having a face to face conversation.
The response I got for using the phrase “touch a nerve” really caught me off guard. The poster I sent it in response to said it’s “tiresome and overused internet trope seeking to infer from the level of pushback that the speakers deep insight must have revealed some deep truths the interlocutor is trying to suppress…” Wtf? I just thought the poster was pissed about somethings I had said. Deep insights? Me? I don’t think so.
Anyway, another poster responded saying, “invariably used to imply sensitivity of the listener causing them to overreact… But in reality speaker said something idiotic or obnoxious.” Again, I ask, wtf? I mean if someone thinks my posts are obnoxious and idiotic everyone’s entitled to an opinion.
I need help understanding why the phrase “touching a nerve” was apparently a big no. Like I said, I had no other meaning behind it but, sounds like I pissed you off. Also, any other phrases I should be careful about? Oh, and someone posted that it or I should be reported. Reported for what? If that’s the way it rolls around here then not sure I should be here. Sorry so long but I’m truly confused.
IMHO the expression “touched a nerve” is perfectly fine and I don’t know why anyone would read you the riot act for using it. I would blow off those comments.
The board has been touchy recently. People are getting their feelings hurt, getting pissed off, getting their knickers in a bunch, and otherwise abandoning the Assumption of Good Will all over the place.
I attribute it to the election. The election and the run-up to it made people very cranky. And now that the Donald is the P-elect, I intend to blame him for everything (just like the Republicans blamed Obama for eight years and the Donald blamed Hillary during the campaign), up to and including the fact that my red hair color fades so fast I have to get it done every month and the fact that my 14-year old dog Buddy poops in the house right after I take him for his walk. And that’s before I even start in on world/national politics.
In short, one of the things I’ve learned from this board is that no matter how politely, civilly, benignly, and carefully you phrase something, you will touch a nerve and piss off someone. There doesn’t seem to be any way to avoid it.
Link? (NM- I see the link right above me…)
Also, each forum here has a description of what fits and what doesn’t. “Reported” probably implied “for forum change”.
Please don’t stress about this. While I’m obviously not in agreement with everything you say, I’ve never seen you participate on this board in anything other than good faith. Personally that goes a lot farther with me than always having the right answer. As long as you continue to do that, you will be fine. As Thelma said, people are just cranky.
I think ThelmaLou has the right of it … people are looking to lash out at others … anybody who doesn’t fit their special brand of misery … nerves are raw and switching them with a willow switch won’t make their temperament ease off much …
If it’s any consolation … I thought you handled yourself well … that’s a rough bunch you got mixed up with … call it lesson learned and I hope you stick around … [deleted] …
Except that nobody was pissed off about anything. It was largely a humorous thread about the Pence theatre incident, with a few serious points and the usual level of snark and sarcasm, and people generally disagreeing with OP’s opinion that celebrities should keep their political opinions to themselves.
OP acted butthurt and astonished that people didn’t agree, and drifted into an exposition of the virtues of Trump. Then the “touched a nerve” line, with a weak sarcastic suggestion that the only reason somebody disagreed with him must be because they are a personal friend of George Clooney.
As Princhester put it in the thread:
In any event, the fact that people disagree with his opinion seems to have touched a nerve with OP.
It’s more than touching a nerve … there’s just certain positions one can’t take on these boards without some group getting ass-hurt … a new poster logs on and if they’re not aware of the taboos fairly often there’s a dog pile … as though “a nerve was touched” …
A bunch of people called him on using that phrase, that he only used once … seems to me he was right on target … otherwise everyone would have let it go as a colloquialism … just saying …
I apologize if I came across like I was pissed or disagreeable, I was not. As I said up thread, I thought you were pissed and I used the wrong wording when I said touch a nerve, next time I’ll just ask if you’re pissed. As far as the Trump stuff, I never brought him up until other posters had and I did say at one point it wouldn’t have made a difference to me whether it was Pence or Tim Kaine. The irony is, I never intended the post to be about that incident, I had just mentioned it in my original post. The part about George, I only included that because I found it amusing the poster mentioned him.I call a truce it appears we read each other wrong.
I don’t see it as an over-reaction at all. He clearly did touch a nerve with some posters and simply wanted to know whether he’d overstepped the bounds of board etiquette, which he didn’t, at least in my view.
Thanks for the advice and you are right there always seems to be enough blame to go around and we always find someone to blame it on rightly or wrongly.
I like your attitude. I’ve been here nearly ten years. I’ve learned that sometimes people just have bad days where they overreact, some people consistently overreact regarding specific issues, and some people overreact to everything. Sorting out who is what kind of person takes time, but generally people are pretty forgiving here. It helps to remember how much nuance is lost in text communication and that some people take interactions here much more seriously than others.
I really don’t think any of you are quite getting to what’s going on there. Look at the thread entirely, instead of just that one post. The problem was there well before “touching a nerve” was stated.
The entire topic is contentious, since it brought up the Pence/Hamilton thing. What would have been good is a thread that didn’t mention it at all, Perhaps, even explicitly saying that, since we already had threads on it, let’s not discuss that particular instance–maybe it was one of the examples where it was okay, or maybe not.
There was literally nothing the OP could have said that would have let that thread go on well after it became about Pence/Hamilton. And she(?) kinda made it about that in the OP.
In keeping with our board culture as on the pedantic/nit-picky side, may I point out that the contentious nerve-touching was actually the second time the OP used the term? S/he used it much earlier in the thread as well, with a presumably different nuance intended:
[QUOTE=Patx2, post #31 of the other thread]
Yes, no political experience, but experience putting teams together and getting things done which I think is part of the reason he won. Also, from what I hear and read, he seemed to touch on issues like jobs, healthcare for instance that many Americans are very concerned about. So, he wasn’t always just mouthing off, he actually touched a nerve with some voters and people want to know their concerns are being heard.
[/QUOTE]
I don’t think the OP meant that Trump “actually pissed off some voters” when he touched on issues like jobs and healthcare.
In context, the earlier use of “touched a nerve” carries a completely different colloquial meaning.
But in the second instance, in the context of disagreement in the conversation, it was this:
watchwolf49, do you disagree with Princhester’s comment (I made a similar one in the thread, but less eloquently, so I quoted his)? Because you said above:
This seems to me an odd interpretation. Imo, the only person overreacting here is OP, who has started an ATMB thread because he’s “ass-hurt” that some people thought both his pro-Pence/Trump RO thesis and his level of discourse were weak sauce.
Thanks, I needed that!