Oh hell, why not?!
Toy Store Thunderdome!
One toy. Think it over. What one toy could you use as a weapon. These are probably going to be slow painful deaths, but it’ll be fun!
A corded video game controller; I could strangle someone with it maybe.
Does this toy store sell model rockets? That would be my first choice.
If not, then I chose marbles. Set them up on the floor, and let someone slip on them. Then I can go beat them up.
Btw wasn’t there a documentaryon this?
I’ll allow it, although, the setup would be cumbersome and time consuming.
Lawn darts, gone…
Tonka trucks, no longer made of steel…
hmmm?
The hot wheels race-tracks!!! Those hurt like a sonaofabitch!!!
Baseball bat.
Edit: I suppose that infringes on the sporting store thread but my Toys R Us has 'em so it’s the obvious choice.
If the Toys R Us has sporting goods of course a baseball bat. It’s an excellent weapon and you’ll have trouble topping it. A model rocket is (even if assembled and ready to fire, which was an understood condition in the Home Depot Thunderdome thread) an absolutely terrible choice. Model rockets are cool but are not designed to be fired horizontally and the kinetic energy they put out is quite modest; as impressive as they look, they fly really high basically because they’re very light. If you hit someone in the torso dead on it would bounce off leaving little more than a mild bruise. And your chances of scoring a hit are terrible.
In choosing a weapon for Toys R Us Thunderdome, if you handwave away sporting goods there aren’t a lot of great choices, really. So I’m going to point out that you might have some sponsorship opportunities. Maybe Sony will pay you handsomely if you use a PS4 to beat someone’s head in. Actually, better still would be a toy or product line known for its durability, like Fisher-Price products. After you’ve staved in the head of some poor bastard with your Thomas the Tank Engine toy, hold the blood-spattered plastic train up to a camera and say “Fisher Price - it’s more durable than a human skull!” That’s the kind of advertising corporations will pay millions for.
If It’s Strong Enough to Kill A Man, It’s Strong Enough For Your Toddler! <TM>
I will Easy Bake your ASS! Beware my hot hot hot incandescent lightbulb of doom.
Uh, assuming they still make them.
They do, but they have actual heating elements now. They no longer use light bulbs.
Well, I still choose it. I’ll take you all out, first by giving you a nasty first degree burn on your pinkies…
An interesting idea with the Easy-Bake oven as your weapon is that it has a permanently affixed AC power cord. So you might also be able to swing it around and smash someone with it, but I’m not sure how strong the cord is. It could also be used as a strangling device.
You can’t tell me people wouldn’t tune in to see someone swinging an Easy-Bake over around their head like a flail going up against someone flinging stuff out of a chemistry set. That’s the kind of TV that sells commercials measured in the millions of dollars per 30-second spot. It’d outdo the Super Bowl.
You could try to bludgeon with this guitar. You might have even better luck trying to brain someone with the included amp.
Or maybe I could make a crude “sword & shield” out of this mini trampoline (which I actually own) – beating someone with the (unassembled) handle while using the jumping pad to block. Under normal circumstances that wouldn’t work well at all but, since their weapon will probably be as lame as mine…
Sock’em Boppers!
That is all.
I think the obvious answer is a jump rope, preferably a leather one with wooden handles but if not the all plasticswill do. Getting whipped hurts, you could use it to catch the baseball bat swings, and as a finishing move beating with the handles followed by strangulation.
A Nerf gun with a quick stop in the baby department for diaper pins. Cut the pointy tips off the pins, jam them in the darts and fire away. Seen this done before, the victims claim the darts hut like a mofo when they stick in you.
Grabbing two different items would violate the rules (assuming same rules as the HD thread). Not that you’re going to kill anyone with mofo-hurtin’ Nerf darts anyway.
But you’d probably be able to get them to go where you want, but you might get a little disheveled in the process.
Anyway, you’d get to be one scruffy looking nerf herder.
Looks like you can get pretty heavy duty drones at toy stores now. Drones where the protective guards around the blades can be broken off.
I guess they don’t sell Jarts anymore.