Weapons in comic books - closing down sale!

Yes, its our closing down sale here at Dave’s Big Weapon Warehouse (heh).

We have a set of webshooters and a few thousand litres of web fluid going for a song! And - drok! - Judge Dredd’s Lawmaker now only 50,000 credits! Or how about the claws on this admantium skeleton surgical procedure!

Or perhaps something non-offensive and aesthetically pleasing like Wonder Woman’s lasso is more up your alley.

Villain weaponry in stock too - a full compliment of the Mandarin’s rings, with a free set of steak sais thrown in! Not to mention the Wrecking Crew’s crowbars and demoliton balls, Catwoman’s whips, and much much more!

And for those of you who read comics as part of an alternative lifestyle, now is your chance if you’ve ever fancied Thor’s hammer or Green Lantern’s ring.

So come on down to Dave’s Big Weapon Warehouse and stock up before the next Crisis/Secret War/big cross-over event!

Yes, sir/ma’am, what can we get you today? What is your favourite weapon in comic books?

Can I get one of those bat-shaped throwing devices? Y’know… the bat-boomerangs?

Sure, pal: we talking standard issue teflon, Dark Knight Returns razor sharp titanium, or Adam West bakelite?

I’m interested in weaponry of Scandanavian origin. I’m thinking something like a hammer, made of Uru metal. Do you have anything like that?

Does the Batmobile count as a weapon? Cause I’d give my lifesavings to own one.

If not that, then…that little thing he uses in Batman Returns, that he can program people into and it hits everyone.

In all seriousness, I did see one for sale on ebay a few years ago. It was a Batmobile from the 60s TV series. I thought that if I bought it I could probably make some cash out of it hiring it out to weddings and such: but I didn’t have a spare $30000 (not including shipment to Australia, and lefthand drive conversion).

Gotcha standard rectangular version, your Beta-Ray Bill, your little Thorgirl one for people with small hands, your Thunderstrike version, plus your All-Star Squadron round sparking Hammer of Thor last seen used by the Ultra-Humanite in 1942, and your Vertigo Comics Sandman Thor’s hammer which shrinks and expands depending upon the user’s…mood.

I’m not a fan of the comics themselves, but I have to go with a Green Lantern ring.

As much as I like the Beta Ray Bill version, given my size (compared to Thor and Beta Ray) and musculatur (or lack thereof), I’m probably better off with the little Thorgirl one.

SOLD.

12 Ultimate Nullifer’s please. I have a busy weekend planned.

I may also hit the beach. Got anything for riding the waves? Something shiny?

Bah. I can get you one of those for free.

The battery, on the other hand, will cost quite a bit.

Got any gas guns? And about 5, 6 dozen canisters of the Mists of Sleep? Or a good substitute?

Brooklyn Superhero Supply

Ooh, I just saw a large poleax in the corner. Theoretically, it can cut through anything, including forces like gravity, or inetron. Are the claims true? If so, do you take American Express?

How about a matched pair of BFGs, Justice and Mercy? Do you have those?

Or maybe something disguised as a banana?

The Infinity Gauntlet. Then I’ll always win my debates on the Dope, because I’ll just make reality agree with me ! Mwahahahahaha !

I’ve been in the mood for something a little more whimsical, not so much weapony as an accessory…oh I don’t say…say an umbrella. Hmm, but it should be able to do cool stuff, maybe release knockout gas and things like that. Got anything that might fit that bill?

I find that an Earth creature has made off with my Illudium PU-36 Space Modulator. Would you have one in stock?

OK, he never made a book, and languished in cartoons, but still.

Yeh right! And have the thing blow up in your hand! You think we’re chumps?

No boards left sorry, but we do have a Batboat, the Sea Devils’ enormous walking underwater statue headquarters, Aquaman’s big seahorse (trident not included), Fathom’s swimsuit, and Namor’s codpiece.

Non-lethal guns are a bit of a rarity - the Taratula’s web gun, Adam Strange’s ray gun and Captian Comet’s sidearm went early in the sale - but I do have an attache case with an untraceable pistol and 100 bullets.

Yes, as well as Federation of Planets credits, and the currencies of Rann, Thanagar, Tamaran, Psion homeworld, and New Genesis.

Unfortuately we do not accept Apokalipsian Granny notes, nor Paypal.

Unless you’re Thor or one of his sons you can’t lift that thing anyway. Just go with the deathray and save some money.