Any unbreakable shields with a patriotic motif? I’m looking for something that can bounce off eight walls and still knock a nazi thug unconscious.
Got any Cosmic Cubes?
I’m looking for some stylish bracelets, maybe gold–you think you could help a girl out?
Oh, that glowy rope thing over there looks perfect to accessorize…
Silver surf’s up!
How much for the Legion of Super-Heroes’s Miracle Machine?
A bargain for a weapon that self destructs if it doesn’t recognise the DNA of the person firing it as that of its rightful owner 
Beyond anyone’s price range really, but wouldn’t it be nice to have a Lazy Gun? If only for its comical death dealing.
Yes, the former owner has a nice swimsuit, and a double-bladed battle axe, to go with it. We did have a plane as well, but seem to have misplaced it.
Regrettably the only one we had in stock has been eaten.
Only a few shields left in stock, sorry. We have the Guardian’s golden shield, Power Princess’ invisible shield, The Shield’s uniform, the Atomic Knight’s shield, a few hoplite ones from Frank Miller’s 300, USAgent’s five pointed number, and a couple of left-overs from Camelot 3000.
Stock is in alphabetical order, sir: just down there in aisle four between “boom tubes” and “cosmic rods”.
Nitpick: that’s Lawgiver, citizen.
How much for der Happy Stick, old cucumber?
I’ve been looking for some of those “Toastmaster” cannons that John Irons developed; I figure they’re just the thing for brutally repressing “undesirable” peoples for no rational reason on my part.
(That, or using them against really deserving targets, making the world a better, safer place, and filling the original inventor and other superheroes with the grim, nagging idea that all this time, they were just letting the world go to pot for the sake of satisfying their personal morals. Either way, I get to screw with people’s heads.)
Failing that…do you have anything in the way of a Genesis Device? (The “life from lifelessness” part doesn’t have to work right—that part doesn’t really matter. Nothing matters.)
Oh, right, I also need some way of shooting people when I have my hands up at gunpoint. Do you have anything in stock that doesn’t require a cyberization procedure?
Sorry, sir: most of our solutions require invasive surgery. We do have spare parts for Cyborg (Titans), Cable, the Reavers, The Cyborg (Superman villain), some vaccum tubes for Commander Steel, spare arms for Stryker, Ballistic and most of Cyberforce, Mother One from Wetworks, Ultimate Misty Knight, Global Frequency rogue USAF cyborgs, and, perhaps the very thing you are looking for, a spare dial from Mean Machine Angel. Our talented physicians from Weapon X’s surgical labs can be found near the Customer Service desk.
Drok! Iso-cube for me.
I’m looking for a nice suit in an Anthony Stark design, maybe something in red. XXLT please.
While you’re clearing out your old 2000AD stock, you got any of Halo Jones’ zenades? Aummm!
Obviously I’m not the target audience for this thread but, I just gotta say … Who even knew there *was * a Thorgirl? According to this site, she’s 5’9", is sometimes known as “Thor Lass” and “Hammer Girl,” and weighs 317 pounds.
Dang.
I’ll take the Miracle Machine, the Cosmic Cube, the Infinity Gauntlet and . . . that’s on credit, right? I mean, it’s not like I’m gonna have a problem paying you.
Does the [url=]Orgazmorator count as a weapon?
Do you have any webshooters?
Mechanical webshooters?
I’ll take the Miracle Machine, the Cosmic Cube, the Infinity Gauntlet and . . . that’s on credit, right? I mean, it’s not like I’m gonna have a problem paying you.
This may be a bit obscure, but do you happen to have a set of Iron Lantern armor?
Oh, yes…if you have the really rare items…how about a chinese lantern, capable of raising the dead? Preferably in some shade of green?
You got any net-guns that actually work? All the ones I ever used just messed up the guy’s hair.