Saturday there was a wedding at the church next door. As is the case when the church has a function, parking was a mess on my street. I need to go to the bank, and blocking my garage is this Ford Explorer. I can see this guy directing traffic, so I go and ask him if he knows the person driving the Explorer. He says yes, it’s one of the members, so I tell him the guys blocking my garage, I can’t get my car out. The guy says he’ll take care of it and disappears.
So I wait, and wait, eventually another guy comes out and starts directing traffic. Following is our conversation.
Me: Excuse me, I asked this other guy to have the owner of the Explorer to move his car, I can’t get out of my garage.
Guy: Well its kind of hectic in there, it may take a while.
Me: I’ve got to get to the bank before it closes, if someone doesn’t move it, I’m going to have it towed.
Guy: That’s not very Christian of you neighbor.
Me: How Christian is it for this guy to block my garage?
Guy: Well he probably didn’t know there was a car in there.
Me (starting to lose it): Well it’s obviously a garage; it even has a sign that say not to block it, now somebody had better get out here and move it. Now!
The guy walked off and came back with the owner, who was totally apologetic, to which I mainly grunted my thanks for him moving his car. I go to the bank and the store, and return home. Want to guess what I see, when I hit the corner? That’s right by drive way is again blocked, not only that but there is a car double-parked next to the offending car! This time both guys were out there and saw me coming. One guy heads for the church, the other for the double-parked car.
As I get out of my car and approach the traffic guy, the guy that went into the church returns with a woman who heads for the car that’s blocking the garage. She gets in her car, but can’t move because of the double-parked car. It’s then that I noticed that someone is sitting in the double-parked car and she’s ignoring the guy tapping on her window. She’s on a cell phone.
I go up and bang on the window. When she opened it, I said “would you move you car, so this lady can move her car so I can get into my garage?” I then asked the other guy why he’d again allowed someone to block my garage. His answer: “You left” I was completely stunned; I couldn’t even come up with a response. I went inside and called the police. About 15 minutes later and officer showed up, and he had a conversation with the traffic guys and the pastor of the church.
So too make up for my lack of a coherent response Saturday, here it is: To the guys directing traffic: How fucking clueless do you have to be to park cars in front of someone’s garage? Notice all the fucking signs that say in plain English “Don’t Block Driveway, Car Will Be Towed”. And after inconveniencing me, why would put another fucking car there? Are you fucking blind? You didn’t see the other car in there, didn’t think perhaps they might want to go somewhere? (Granted, it was my wife’s but there’s no way he could have know that.) In short, where the fuck is your brain?