How do you trim your asparagus?
I used to cut the bottoms off at an arbitrary place. Frequently, the ends of the asparagus would be of a harder consistencey than the rest of the stalk. Now I snap the bottoms off. It’s like the asparagus ‘knows’ where to trim itself. Works every time for me.
I finally figured that out too. And that it’s great grilled (wrapped in foil).
We just today started an asparagus bed in the garden, with those brown plants that look like desiccated octopus. I heard it takes 2-3 years to get something edible.
I can wait. The neighbors have been pretty good to us, asparagus-wise. 
I give great thanks to the person on the board, perhaps your august self, who suggested snapping the stalks.
I know I’ve posted it before, but I don’t know if I’m the first to post it here. Maybe I read it here myself?
As I type this, I have in front of me a plate of fresh asparagus and charcoal-grilled mokfish with garlic butter.
Monkfish.
I grill them too, but with no foil, just a sprinkle of kosher salt and a drizzle of olive oil. My vegetable-hating seven year old son recently decided that he loves grilled asparagus. It’s crazy and cool at the same time.
Oh, and I’ve always snapped them too.
Now we can start the Hollandaise sauce thread.
Be sure to serve it in a very clean, very shiny chrome hubcap. Because…
There’s no plate like chrome for tha Hollandaise!
Good gad.
While I do snap my stalks, everybody knows that the closer the spears snap to the heads, the better it reflects on the server’s wealth. And untrimmed asparagus? You might as well throw in an apple core.
For those not-so-rich days, you can take a regular vegetable peeler to the bottom ends of the stalks. Peel off the outer layer (the smooth skin), and what’s left cooks fast enough to be ‘soft’ and done at the same time as the rest.