As a child, I was taught that plain asparagus (not covered in sauce) should be picked up and eaten by hand unless the spears were way too long and then you could cut the spears with a folk, eat the longer stalk section with the fork and still use your fingers for the shorter section. Yesterday I got into an argument with a colleague over this (we had taken some student workers to lunch in which I my asparagus eating habits were observed and commented on). According to her, asparagus must always be eaten with a fork. She acted like it was religious law (which I certain it isn’t).
I’ve seen etiquette books, multiple etiquette books, say that unsauced asparagus spears may be eaten with the fingers. It’s not incorrect to eat them with a fork and knife, though.
Asparagus is a bit soggy for finger-food, in my own opinion, so I always eat it with fork and knife.
Fork and knife here.
But I never eat plain, unsauced asparagus at home.
Preheat an oven to 425. While that’s heating up, break the stems off a bunch of asparagus, and put them in a cake pan. Drizzle a little olive oil on them, put a little minced garlic, salt, and pepper on them, and mix them up to evenly coat, and spread the asparagus out to cover the bottom of the cake pan (1 bunch of asparagus will almost exactly cover the bottom).
Bake for 15 minutes. When they come out, drizzle balsamic vinegar on them, and top with parmesan cheese.
Those are the best asparagus I’ve ever had, and I make them often.
Grilled, al dente
Can be eaten by finger or fork
If your asparagus is soggy, it’s overcooked
Shouldn’t this be in Cafe Society?
I like to cut mine all up and stack it like cord wood, then eat it with a fork.
Only at home, though. 
With gusto!.
Dutch etiquette apparently currently has re-allowed the eating of asparagus using the fingers (supported if needed by a fork in the left hand). Personally, I don’t care.
I love fresh asparagus, but:
however I eat it, wherever I eat it, I am always preoccupied with how it makes my urine smell.
Makes it hard to enjoy it for what it is.
Tis but a laughable side effect 
Reluctantly.
If we grill it, we leave the tough ends on to make it less likely to fall through the grates, so I eat that with my fingers so I can bite off the good part. Otherwise, I eat it with a fork.
drools. makes notecard for the next time I can find fresh aspargus. drools some more.
as to the OP, I eat asparagus very happily.
Not at all.
Fork only, in most cases. With a knife if necessary. Eating asparagus with fingers never even occured to me, and I’d very much notice someone else doing so. I’ve never seen anyone do this.
Shallow as it is, I’d probably think less of someone I didn’t know for doing so. I agree with Sattua. Asparagus is too soggy to be a finger food.
I second this recipe as awesome. I make broccoli the same way (only on a sheet pan and roast bit longer) and it is mouthwatering.
I have always known asparagus to be eaten with the hands as long as it isn’t in sauce.
Miss Manners has said many times there is a very old tradition that allows asparagus to be eatem with the fingers. You CAN use a fork, but it’s perfectly proper to pick up the stalks by hand. I think it’s one of those odd little glitches of etiquette where some bigwig in the past ate HIS asparagus with his fingers and society followed suit.
Just last week we had egg noodles tossed with barely steamed chopped asparagus, black truffle oil, and loads of grated Comte cheese, a hard cheese from France. I really think I could have eaten my own weight in it!
I eat it with my fingers.
When I make asparagus at home, I tend to do an herb roast…interwind various fresh herbs with the asparagus…drizzle with olive oil. Broil. Sometimes I’ll spritz with balsamic vinegar.
With the meal, I use a fork and knife to eat it. Leftovers go in the fridge, and get eaten with my fingers in private.
Moving from IMHO to Cafe Society.
It is perfectly correct to eat them using your hand, and although you may get looks you know you are right. That may be small comfort. I use a knife and fork because I usually eat canned asparagus, and that stuff is limp. It would be like trying to eat spaghetti by and.
Seconded! Gotta try this recipe! (Although I tend to halfway agree with my son, that asparagus is primarily a great vehicle for moving hollandaise sauce from my plate to my mouth.)
Unsauced, though? I eat it with my fingers. I’m a big fan of eating with my fingers, though. One of my favorite “at home, in private” snacks is a can of green beans, drained, and eaten by hand. And with a 10-month-old daughter who is very fond of everything she has ever eaten, I’ve learned that EVERYTHING is finger food. From spaghetti to cheesecake.