I must say, I’ve been following this literary excursion, and found your style parody to be so on point that I literally LOL’d. I then read it out loud to my wife, who couldn’t stop snickering after I read a sample of NKB’s works to her.
According to her, “You are the best Troutman.”
I was instructed to relay this, and I have obeyed.
Sorry I skimmed and missed that. My shame burns like a ball of blue incandescent fire.
I think you mean a flaming turquoise ball of spherical blue fire. In summer.
Part of B.K.'s magnificent oeuvre is a work called “How to Write”, intended, one assumes from its descriptive title, to teach us how to write.
I skimmed a sample, and it appears that one thing he feels strongly about – because it’s mentioned multiple times – is that if sometimes tells you that you don’t know how to write, you should ignore them. This is especially true if the person telling you this is an editor, because editors are all jerks who are full of themselves.
He doesn’t say why he has such strong hostility toward literary critics, and I feel it would be rude to ask. 
Oh, you sweet summer child, basking languidly in the effulgence and torpor of your ashen countenance, as if it were the third Thursday of the month.
Somewhere, Messrs Strunk and White are rotating like succulent globes of glistening spitted chickens inside the pine sarcophagi in which they were so worthily entombed
NM … (blah blah for Discourse)
He also has one called “Dear Author”, where he writes letters to his past literary heros. Only a few are in the sample, but one is to Jane Austen, where she wishes she could have been around today so that he could have swept her off her feet. He also mentions that, for good or ill, today’s culture would be more tolerant of her having had premarital sex.
It’s called foreshadowing. All the good authors use it. Or so I’m told.
I don’t think bad writing at the beginning is actually considered foreshadowing of continued bad writing.
Is there such a thing as "simulshadowing? Like a shadow, but at noon on the equinox at the equator?
The similes in this thread make his ridiculous posts in the original thread all worthwhile. I won’t even try to match you geniuses.
So the space elevator “snapped, falling to the ground.” I don’t think this guy knows how big a space elevator actually is. If, somehow, it were to fail in a way that brings it down, it would fall for many, many agonizing minutes, probably wrapping itself most of the way around the planet and creating catastrophic damage far in excess of a “horrendous clamor.” But hey, what do I know, I’m just a guy who’s read a couple of books.
But then after all his essay is “how to write,” and is not “how to read and understand things.”
The similes are flowing like fire-engine red molten hot lava from the gaping wide open pit of an incandescent mountain on fire like a Solar Eruption, but no stars.
If you want to see such an attack, check out The Wandering Earth 2.
From Wiki:
The first phase of the Moving Mountain Project is to build and test an ion engine on the Moon. However, a series of terrorist attacks by well-armed DLP supporters on the UEG facilities in 2044 resulted in a hacked drone attack on the space elevator, coordinated hacking of the elevator vehicles by highly trained infiltrators, with the aim of destroying the Ark Space Station supplying the lunar operation. Although UEG trainee astronaut Liu Peiqiang and his fellow trainees manage to defeat the hijackers on their vehicles, this was after the hijackers detonated one elevator with a missile that bypassed the cargo bay using counterfeit passes. As a result, the top of the space elevator and the Ark Space station are critically damaged and crash down to Earth.
Don’t leave us in suspense, man! What color were the posts?
Nor is it “How to Write Well”.
It reads like the work of someone who knows the shape of a written passage, but doesn’t know how to find the words to fit that shape. You end up with tortured metaphors and phrases that seem like something a person could write, but fall apart under scrutiny. In that sense, yes it does very much resemble the output of ChatGPT, which has a similar approach to putting words together. The difference is ChatGPT is absolutely better at it than this guy.
I think the Ban 
is getting close.
Like a eager eggplant on a November Thanksgiving meal table.