There are no area codes.
Don’t forget the pillow fights.
I KNEW IT! Now, if I can only figure out a way to have a look into one of those places. Maybe a ladder up to the sorority window or a hole cut into the locker room wall. Nobody will notice my big ol’ eyeball looking in.
Or they just read over your shoulder when you type it in, because MovieOS displays passwords just like any other text instead of replacing everything with asterisks.
Ask a creepy-looking groundskeeper or custodian. They’re always skulking around the shadows near naked women gatherings, acting suspiciously.
Unless they’re in prison. Then the “naked conversation” is less giggly and involves a riot in the main yard, and a fire hose, and, as a result, lots of mud.
Actually, that trope is just like real life, including the extraordinary physical attractiveness of most female convicts. Sociologists are puzzled. Criminologists are perplexed. Penalogists have no comment as they are too busy with penalogical concerns.
Nope, campbell’s soup.
Whenever people go grocery shopping, they always buy a baugette, which is never put into an individual plastic or paper bag, but is always left sticking out of the top of the grocery bag. They often buy oranges, which are also never bagged; when they do buy them, their grocery bag will alwys be paper and will always rip, sending them all rolling onto the sidewalk.
And every phone number starts with “555-”
Any TV or radio news announcement you are able to pick out of the background noise in a public place will be related to your personal story. See Chekhov’s Gun.
Villainous henchmen are uniformly inept, unless:
(drama) the plot requires the hero to be temporarily captured or otherwise incapacitated, or
(comedy) one group of henchmen are being presented as competent to highlight the ineptitude of another group of henchmen
And highly critical computer terminals always have keyboards that make very loud clacking/chunking noises when typed upon, and their monitors display output that you would swear was hand-drawn rather than rendered by an actual computer.
And if you turn on your TV at home, the news report relevant to your situation will be on right now, not after the commercial or the lottery drawing or the fluff piece about the water-skiing squirrel.
If you see the TV in a public place, your picture will be on the screen and everyone around will immediately start scanning nearby faces looking for you. And you will have to race out to a car and spin your wheels escaping. The good news is – you won’t get caught.
Also, if a live news report comes on that someone needs to see, you can call them up and tell them to turn on the TV, and they will be able to watch the entire live broadcast from the beginning.
If you’re playing hooky from school or work NEVER go to a baseball game. You will have the unfortunate luck of catching a foul ball live on television and your boss or teacher will be watching the game at that exact moment.
As long as you didn’t have the fish.
What about The Blues Brothers?
The Ricochet was solved in the mid 1970s. You will never hear one later than this date.
Falling through or being showered with glass never results in a large shard driving through your skull right down to the jaw.
Peacetime intelligence is always right. Wartime intelligence is always wrong.
The book is always wrong. Never go by the book.
And of course: Anything can be accomplished by wanting it enough.
Only if you
Serpentine!!!
The First Law of Hollywood Karma: that bad things happen to bad people, and good things happen to good people. If a bad thing happens to you, it’s because you’re actually a bad person.
That it’s okay to take innocents and other cops hostage, pretend to kill one, and get one of them actually killed (even if it wasn’t technically your fault) as long as you’re innocent of the crime for which you took them hostage to prove. (from The Negotiator)
That a blonde sorority bimbo can significantly increase her LSAT score to one point away from perfect, can get into Harvard, and go from being detested to universally loved by her classmates and teachers, as long as she skips out on a few keggers and cracks the occasional book. (from Legally Blonde)
That kids can get away with flipping Filipino knives and calling bad guys cunts in front of their parents (from Kickass).
That I will never survive a zombie apocalypse (from Zombieland) because I’m fat.