Not a problem, because I kknow that whoever is after me will be looking away from the TV just as my shot begins, only to look back just as the shot cuts away from me.
The Nazis and Japanese evidently developed a peculiar kind of bullet that fatally targeted teenaged soldiers a few minutes after they told nostalgic stories about their ma and their childhood.
Very similar to the cop-about-to-retire-seeking-bullet.
Of all the tv sf I’ve seen, Battlestar Galactica (new school) did the best job combating this. Their space battles were a thing of beauty, with ships twisting and flipping and generally not at all acting like they’re sliding around on a big table.
Every sunken ship has a priceless treasure in one hold, a sea monster living in another, the corpses of several careless scuba divers floating in the hallways, and an alien ship hiding underneath it.
Every luxury liner sinks on its maiden voyage. Strangely that doesn’t discourage people from buying passage and filling every cabin.
At least half the passengers and crew on every sinking ship will be killed just trying to load the lifeboats. Fistfights will be common and the crew will have to shoot at least one out of control passenger.
If you’re in the middle of a war and you take your helmet off, you’re as good as dead.
Poisons are very fast acting and relatively painless. They take just long enough for the poisoner to mock you. Rarely is there vomiting or painful spasms from fast acting poisons, just a sort of general paralysis. Antidotes are also immediate and 100% effective.
Also a cure for a fatal disease will have you alert and smiling in seconds, and back to work later in the day. The only necessary followup is strong coffee.
You can measure the victim’s importance to the story by the length of the speech given by the villain before the actual killing begins. If the main character is unconscious, but grouped with other minor characters, the villain must wait to give his speech until the main character awakens. Therefore, if you see the main villain waiting around, you probably aren’t the main character.
If you are a girlfriend or fiancee of any superhero, James Bond, Chuck Norris, Steven Segal, Jean Claude Van Damme or Jackie Chan, you might as well kill yourself now before you are raped, murdered, kidnapped or beaten.
It is relatively safe to hit someone in the head with a cast iron frying pan as long as it makes a “BOING” sound. If it thuds, the person getting hit will probably die. Or get amnesia.
It is required by law that all animated sitcoms must do a star wars parody by the 5th season or earlier.
You will never, ever lose the BIG GAME.
Wealthy, local big-shots get their kicks by secretly imposing their malign influence on high schoolers engaged in athletic competition.
Every public high school in America is nicer than the ones I went to: huge libraries, indoor pools, bright, airy, and the worst problem tends to be romantic in nature.
Every high school student is better than you and me too. They have nicer cars, nicer clothes, hotter SOs, and better drugs.
All car chases will eventually come upon an alley full of empty boxes, two guys carrying a plate glass window / mirror, and some type of vehicle carrying chickens (or watermelons).
But, to go to that high school you have to be 30 years old.
Nothing gets a wealthy big shot more excited than tearing down beloved community centers, other than having their son engage in some sort of competition against one of the local teens to avoid it.
Home exercise equipment is a scam. Tractor tires will get you in shape faster for free.
Even though you have a cell phone, you must have a land line too, because, obviously, when you need to use the cell phone, you won’t get a signal and/or the battery will be dead. Oh, the landline will probably be cut anyway as well, but there’s no sense not being prepared.
Zombies never eat each other and they always help each other to kill the living, as outlined in the Zombie Code.
All aliens either speak English or the humans of that time have invented translators that change the alien’s language into English. Humans, particularly those based on Americans, will never, ever, EVER make any attempt to learn an alien language.
Aliens don’t poop.
Any sort of mutation will result in a superpower rather than a painful, Darwinian death.
Ninjas are weaker the larger the group is. Single ninjas are incredibly powerful.
A hero will be able to dodge scores of rounds from a death squad’s assault rifles, while every single shot from the hero’s handgun will drop a mook.
Full-auto submachine guns and assault rifles, hand grenades and grenade launchers, and shoulder-launched rockets and SAMs are so common and easy to obtain that even street gangs are armed with them.
No one is ever deafened by firing a gun in a closed space (kudos to The Walking Dead for an exception)
Head injurys are never serious, and bullet wounds hurt only if it’s important to the plot.
The most important thing about boxing is being able to take repeated blows to the head until the other guy gets tired.
Don’t ever force someone into a fight who doesn’t want to fight. That person will totally kick your ass in 5 seconds.
Women shave their legs and pits hourly, because they never ever ever have even a trace of stubble.
A human fighter pilot can fly an alien spacecraft so well that the alien pilots look like student drivers.
Every criminal a cop ever arrests will come back looking for revenge.
Every military officer with the rank of colonel is planning a coup, but it takes a whole team of generals to plan one.
Every great soldier has been busted back to private at least 3 times.