The article says Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump would not allow their protection detail to use any of the 6.5 bathrooms in their home. The Secret Service had to find other places to go, and ultimately wound up paying to rent a studio apartment from one of their neighbors.
That’s missing some of the colorful details that I heard elsewhere. For example, “the agents began using a bathroom in a garage at the Obamas’ house, which the former president’s protective detail had turned into a command post. The Obamas did not use the garage, so the extra traffic to and from the command post caused no problem. Yet this solution, too, was short-lived after a Secret Service supervisor from the Trump/Kushner detail left an unpleasant mess in the Obama bathroom at some point before the fall of 2017, according to a person briefed on the event. That prompted the leaders of the Obama detail to ban the agents up the street from ever returning.”
Well, that makes Jared and Ivanka seem potentially more justified. No one should be leaving an unpleasant bathroom mess for anyone else to clean up, unless they were suddenly taken gravely ill.
.10) Rolled back toilet tank water limits; five gal not enough to flush away “Trump Poo”.
.09) How could he have his ‘Roid Rage’ without one…?
08) Toilets with the seat up are low enough where Trump’s feet can actually touch the floor.
07) Toilets remind Trump of his Twitter policy power.
06) Toilets remind most people of Trump and his Twitter policies.
05) “tiny hands mean less paper”
04) It’s the Trump Brand way to ‘lose weight’.
03) It’s the one room in the house where Melania won’t walk in on him.
02) Ceramic bowls can’t scream in horror ( no matter how much they want to).
…and the number one connection between Trump and Toilets
.01) It’s the only place left where he can still have sex…
When the cleaning service sends a new maid to my apartment, one of the first things I tell her is that although she is here to work, she is otherwise a guest. “If you need to use the bathroom, go, even if you’ve just cleaned it.” I’ve been thanked for saying that, as some people are adamant about the facilities being off limits to “the help”. I reply, “Well, I’m not one of those people.”
Well, what can I say? I “just don’t have the chops to be a successful comedic writer”.
Besides, when I write on Facebook, it shows up on Late Night monologues without any attribution as to who wrote it. Here, it’s owned by the Board and the paper behind it ( so the lazy writers at the LSSC can’t cut/paste my work and claim they wrote it.)
CBS always used to be very closely affiliated with Simon & Schuster who always used to take claims of plagiarism seriously. I guess yesterday’s ‘plagiarism’ is just today’s “Generation Z Creativity” though. But none of this relates to Politics & Elections so lets get back to the subject at hand.
Trump’s one-time acting attorney general, Matthew Whitaker, was on the board of a fraud-ridden company called World Patent Marketing, which had, among its scams, a product called the “Masculine Toilet” – a toilet with a deeper-than-normal bowl, so that well-endowed men would not have to worry about their long members touching toilet water.
Link spoilered, as it talks about male genitalia, and thus might be NSFW for some:
Hmm… what is a good way to misspell “Lysol” so it sounds the exact same? Because that would settle some Trumpish gene pools… as well as some nasty stains and smells…