I think it may be worth retitling it “Following Trump’s Health” or similar if it’s going to keep getting bumped. If he ever does die, I’m pretty sure the number of new threads will make it pretty clear.
It brightens up my day a little bit every time I open it. I look at it as being aspirational.
One day, it will be so. And much rejoicing will be upon the land!
Until then
But… But that’s the opposite!
“Following Trump’s Decaying Old Man Shits Himself Health Thread. And Drools.”
Egg-ZACKLY! Now you’re getting the hang of it! 
They may have also thought that Sunblock 5000 from Robocop was real.
It’s also technically correct (the best kind).
Trump is dying.
It’s just taking longer than we thought.
There seem to be two main schools of erroneous opinion regarding sunscreen use: one, that it causes cancer (utter bullshit) and two, that it keeps you from synthesizing adequate amounts of vitamin D (not quite as loony, but basically unfounded).
I doubt that opposition reflects past formulations of sunscreen that were mainly effective against uVB and less so against uVA. For one thing, we’ve had sunscreens that comprehensively protect against both types of solar radiation for decades. And in any case, the previous uVB sunscreens did offer significant protection against skin cancers, i.e. squamous cell carcinoma and melanoma. Gripes on this score tend to reflect the Nirvana fallacy - if something doesn’t work perfectly, it’s useless.
Don’t underestimate the role of sheer contrarianism and resentment of expert recommendations. Such mindsets lead not only to rejection of sunscreen*, but to embrace of lead-based paints (they protected us from harmful electromagnetic radiation doncha know, which is why the gummint campaigned against lead 
) and claims that smoking/nicotine have been demonized by the Powers That Be and are actually good for you.
*a key moment in the deterioration of my relationship with my sister was when she announced that neither of her children (who were active in outdoor sports) would use sunscreen. I suspect this attitude derived in large part from her resentment of our mother, a dermatologist with whom she didn’t get along.
cf. Vaccines. Logic and rational thinking is not their strong suit.
How about “Trump’s health is declining”?
(gasp) Number 1.0!
Good grief.
Way to stick it to Mom, amirite?
I agree that that’s probably a lot of it. But as someone who avoids sunscreen, i think there’s a visceral, “it’s icky to smear bad-smelling chemicals all over your skin” aspect, too. At least, that’s most of why i avoid sunscreen.
I’m very fair skinned, and have a family history of skin cancer. So it’s a thing i think about. I have a collection of baggy, lightweight, ventilated shirts that keep the sun off my torso, and a big floppy hat that mostly keeps it off my face. When i visited Hawaii, i even bought long sleeves, long pants swim gear designed to protect you from the sun. And I’ve never liked standing around in summer sun. I still remember how uncomfortable i was at an after school program that didn’t have any shade. I wasn’t hot, i just hated being stuck in the sun. Anyway, my dermatologists always tell me i need to wear sunscreen, and i whine that i hate sunscreen, and they look at my pasty complexion and lack of tan lines and shrug and say that whatever I’m doing seems to be working.
Anyway, the stuff feels icky. And it smells nasty, like it’s bad for you. If you are inclined to be suspicious of the authorities who recommend it, it’s easy to imagine that it really is dangerous.
My mother was very sun-averse. In my memories of her outdoors, she’s generally wearing sunglasses, a scarf and floppy hat and/or sitting at a table under an umbrella. I suppose part of that was due to the sun damage she saw in her practice* and the skin cancers that she excised.
I’m not a fan of sunscreen creams and lotions, mainly because I don’t like smearing gunk on myself. I tend to use spray-on liquid sunscreen which has very little odor and is easy to apply. I also take to heart the words of a dermatologist who told me, “A hat is your friend.”
*Recalling that a lot of Texans, especially women, look old prematurely if they spend too much time under that semi-tropical sun.
I don’t know. Speaking just for myself, when it happens, I’ll be six bottles deep in Champagne and won’t be anywhere near the Dope for days and days.
UPDATE: He apparently was not dying in August 2025 when this thread started.
Eh, everyone is always dying. Some people just do it faster than others.
People who object to this thread should stop reading it.
Some of us like it.
At least those not busy being born.