Hamster porn is a perfectly legitimate fetish!
There are dozens of us! Dozens!
Hamsters?
Fun fact: in my third grade class, the word of the day is “Suspend.”
Well yes, the Board has been running smoother for me of late, I imagined at least a couple dozen additional hamsters had been hired.
Nah, its the same number of hamsters, just put more meth in their food. Live fast, die young, flush.
I’m six feet tall, and I had an incredibly hot, gorgeous five foot girlfriend when I was in college.
I hereby apologize for using her up, when I should have clearly been with a woman of 5’7" or more.
You would have really dug her. I mean, blow jobs like a tuba player in reverse, what can I say?
Pah pah oom?
More like, hap hap moOOOO!
Though I wouldn’t presume to say if it was Ike or his shopvac of a girlfriend who made the “moOOO” noise. 
I’ll bet her nickname was ‘Hoover’.
How revolutionary.
Elvira.
In honor of Derek, or do you just have a very interesting third grade class? 
Uh…she didn’t wear a ball gown, did she?
My class is AWESOME.
(also it was in our reading selection for the day)
No, Papa-oom-mow-mow.
You know how “Mau Mau” is pronounced, right? 
“I’m six foot five and I eat punks like you for breakfast!”*
So then…there’s a creepier-than-fuck song beginning around 19:40 on this Crust album.
The pertinent part, though, which the OP is well-advised to bend his ear to, is at precisely 22:24.:p;)
PLAY LOUD(LY)
*JC
Probably from the ever-so charmingly named, “chicks with dicks” genre. (Note: I did NOT make up the name, nor is it one I use, outside of this context)
His problem is that the search term he goes for is “Men with tits”.