Trump's Cabinet of Curiosities

If only Stanley Kubrick were still alive…nah, even he couldn’t make an effective satire of this.

“You’re fired!” Trump plans to run the country like he ran his reality TV show, while letting his children and corporate buddies plunder the Treasury and natural resources like it was their own private stock. This is what the country would look like if a Bond villain managed to take the presidency. Get ready for the pointless diorama erupting from the floor of the Press Briefing Room at Goldkleinfinger’s first post-inauguration press conference.

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We look forward to the prospect of a declaration of war being issued via a tweet.

But, you know, there might just be an upside to all this malarkey.

If the rest of humanity can work out this is merely attention whoredom writ large and realise that it can be safely disregarded as narcissistic and ephemeral media fodder until the adults get involved then maybe we could do the same with matters lacking any significant repercussions to the planet or cosmos, like the Kim/Kayne/Beckham/Beiber/Perry twittersphere?

He was just following along with his Lord and Master. Putin had made the exact same comment just before the Tweet.

It’s somewhat fascinating – horrifyingly so – how Trump is shaping up his image before he takes office. He’s obsessed with the projection of power and brute strength. It will be interesting to see how he responds and how successful he is when hard facts about his performance start circulating.

Or Lex Luthor.

Already been done.

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In a thread, no less.

Trump appoints his business attorney to manage international negotiations.

Jesus.

H.
Christ.

No conflict there. Nuh-uh. I’m sure that Mr. Greenblatt will not have a problem negotiating with countries where Trump has significant business interests.

Trump didn’t win an election-he made a business acquisition.

No, he made a deal. And if you’ve read his magnum mendacium, The Art of the Deal, it is very clear exactly how he will function as President.

“I play it very loose. I don’t carry a briefcase. I try not to schedule too many meetings…I prefer to come to work each day and just see what develops.”

I play to people’s fantasies. People may not always think big themselves, but they can still get very excited by those who do. That’s why a little hyperbole never hurts. People want to believe that something is the biggest and the greatest and the most spectacular. I call it truthful hyperbole.” (pg. 58)

“I don’t hire a lot of number-crunchers, and I don’t trust fancy marketing surveys. I do my own surveys and draw my own conclusions.

“What the bulldozers and dump trucks did wasn’t important, I said, so long as they did a lot of it.” (pg. 214)

“I fight when I feel I’m getting screwed, even if it’s costly and difficult and highly risky.” (pg. 236)

“I dealt with Qaddafi. I rented him a piece of land. He paid me more for one night than the land was worth for two years, and then I didn’t let him use the land. That’s what we should be doing. I don’t want to use the word ‘screwed’, but I screwed him. That’s what we should be doing.

“Most reporters, I find, have very little interest in exploring the substance of a detailed proposal for a development. They look instead for the sensational angle.” (pg. 340)Seriously, everything you want to know about how Trump is going to ‘govern’ for the next four years (or however long he lasts before he terminally screws Congress and gets himself impeached, or gets bored and resigns) is in this book.

But be warned; it’s basically the Necronomicon of political/business treatises, and you’ll lose 1/1D20 SAN just for skimming through it.

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And that’s why for the next 4 years, all foreign and domestic policies will be tailored around the most important theme:

“How will this make a profit for Trump?”

You are so right. This book should be required reading for every Democrat in Congress.

Although not one of Trump’s Cabinet picks (or at least, not yet), the co-chair of Trump’s New York state election campaign had some charming things to say about President and Ms. Obama, finishing his followup statement with: “And yes, it’s about a little deprecating humor which America lost for a long time,” he wrote. “Merry Christmas and tough luck if you don’t like my answer.”

Is it too late to swap out Sean Spicer for this class act as White House press secretary? A daily does of misogynistic racism in the guise of “a little deprecating humor” is just what is needed to “Make America Great Again”.

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When is Putin going to be named to Trump’s cabinet, and to what position?

I say sometime in 2018, and it will be to a new post - Ministry of Truth.

Carl P. Paladino sounds like ideal Trump material, and I imagine the Republicans are very, very proud of him and will reward him suitably. His comments about Obama are basically standard Republican talking points now.

nm

You rang?

On the other hand, Rockettes Not Required to Dance at Trump Inauguration. Kick girls, Higher! Higher!, right to the Nutz.

Ummm…his comments are way beyond “standard Republican talking points” IMHO. It’s not like Paul Ryan or even that loathsome Mitch McConnell would say this (publicly):

Paladino’s statement has been formally redupiated by the Trump “transition team”, but it is indicative of the kind of people who were enthusiastically backing Trump; blatant racism, conspiracy-backed anger, and a complete disrespect for the institutions of government. This is a candidate who, when offered repeated opportunities to disavow an endorsement by the Ku Klux Klan, equivocated instead. He’s courted racist asswipes like Paladino who now feel empowered by Trump’s landslide (not) election and are emerging like snakes out of the wall of a tomb that Indiana Jones has just smashed a giant idol through, and we can only hope that they find a gilded ark, open it up to see what is inside, and get their faces melted off because outside of mystical artifacts it seems there is little that Trump and his compatriots are going to do to discourage this kind of behavior from their followers.

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