Which makes me think of movies.
There has to have been a movie, or at least a sketch, where some bumbling bad guys kidnap somebody so annoying they “throw them back” just to be rid of the irritation.
Yep, I’m in the insurance industry and Kidnap and Ransom insurance is absolutely a thing. The policies we’ve sold have the client names redacted.
That being said, I don’t think you want to kidnap me. I’m not sure my cats would pay the ransom.
As mentioned earlier, The Ransom of Red Chief is a cautionary tale:
https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=uiuo.ark:/13960/s29x8wh7zs8&seq=14
My church would offer something.
My first thought was Stanley Spadoski from UHF
Wasn’t there a story that someone tried to hijack a school bus a couple of a years back and just gave up because the kids were so annoying?
Yeah, there we go:
I think it would take a while before anyone really noticed I’d gone, as I’m not working regular hours. It’d take a couple of missed meetings before someone thought to chase up. Except my pet rats would notice dinner not showing up, of course, so you’d need to arrange for someone to come and feed them, unless I can bring them. Oh, and someone would need to pop round to water the plants, which takes longer than you’d think, or I’d never shut up about it. Really it sounds like more trouble than it’s worth.
I think my cat might raise a fuss when she realized she was missing dinner.
But I don’t know that she’d have much to offer.
Would you take a dead lizard?
I’d exasperate you.
As for money, my lawyer Attny.Licky-lips has all my particulars. He’s your average shyster type so good luck getting 3 cents.
My kids would try to borrow money off you. Watch out for Son-of-a-wrek, he talks fast and moves his hands around, next thing you know he has your credit card and a little cash for the ride over.
I’d go willingly tho. 
We’re rather broke lately. I wouldn’t be worth the trouble.
My agents will track you down and make you roux the day. They’re top people. Top. . .people.
So you’re saying the OP would really be in the soup? 
The plot thickens.
And darkens. Dark plots are the worst.
Perhaps they could add some savory capers to make it an especially … savory caper.
I have no kids, no siblings, and no family to speak of. And I can be a real PITA. Probably not a good candidate.
It appears that on the whole, Dopers aren’t in much danger of being kidnapped. I guess that should be a comfort.
I think you’ve found your target @FairyChatMom.
ThelmaLou doth protest too much. I’m guessing she’s a well loved heiress to a massive fortune.
That’s how Mrs. J. and I hooked up. She was resistant in the beginning but came around.
My daughter-in-law is 9 months pregnant. Her father died when she was 6, and she’s made it clear she wants her child to have a grandpa. You’ll be messing with a woman hopped up on hormones.
You can kidnap me. I enjoy your posts. If you threatened to lock me in a room with Otis*, I might pay the ransom myself. Oh–don’t take me on the boat** unless you enjoy vomit everywhere. Just sayin’.
*Otis = FCM’s dog.
** The Fairychats have a boat.
Hmmmm, it may be that kidnapping will be a good break for me. I can relax, and have some peace and quiet for once, especially if you don’t just lock me up somewhere. Even in that instance, I can just catch up on some sleep. I would guess that my spouse would part with a few ten thousands, ( as few as possible, though, like…one or …half of one…) but that’s just a guess. Might be a good idea not to put him to the test.