Place many large rocks on the bonfire (careful – they may explode, particularly if they are river rocks),
Dig a large hole.
Place about half of the now very hot rocks into the hole.
Wrap the flock or whatever the hell you call the bird-dog-pile in banana leaves, with copious seasoning between the leaves and the meat.
Lower the leaf-wrapped meat into the pit, preferably with non-coated metal wires so that you can use the wire to later recover the food.
Bury the sides and top of the meat in the pit with the remainder of the very hot rocks.
Bury the top of the hot rocks with dirt. If you are hoity-toity, consider landscaping.
Wait six or eight hours (or more, depending on the volume of the flock), then exhume the meat. It will be fully cooked and succulent, but not excessively greasy.
The feast may now begin, unless one of the birds was a merganser, in which case just throw it out in the trash.
A tuduckinoostrich sounds interesting, but it’s a bit common.
At the Dextrin household this year, we’re going to try out a DodAukPeckgeon - a Passenger Pigeon stuffed in an Ivory Billed Woodpecker stuffed inside a Great Auk all wrapped in a Dodo.
In case all of you masters of the vicarious would like a first-hand report, I’ve cooked goose for holiday dinners a number of times, and as long as you prepare it properly, it’s not overly greasy at all. I’ve barbecued it (yummy) and done it in the oven like a turkey. The legs certainly aren’t an epicurean delight, but goose breast is quite tasty.
I’ll disagree with this one, too. I’ve had ground ostrich in burgers. They weren’t as greasy as beef-burgers, which is fine with me! I’ve also had ostrich jerky and liked it quite a bit. It was dry, of course, but jerky is supposed to be dry.