My posts in another thread reminded me that the channels that in the past hosted Mystery Science Theater 3000 used to run Turkey Day marathons every Thanksgiving. In honor of that late lamented practice, I’m asking Dopers to list their favorite episodes for their own private Turkey Day.
Mine are:
The Brain that Wouldn’t Die
Mitchell!
The Mole People
First Spaceship on Venus
Revenge of the Creature (Bra…Bra…)
A separate question…What is your favorite movie that was never MSTied?
The Day The Earth Froze (aka: the Sampo Movie)
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (Patrick Swayze Christmas! My favorite Christmas carol.)
The Beatniks (“If you’re wearing a Girl Scout kerchief, you’re not a beatnik!”)
Plus: Mr. B. Natural
I go for the worst:
MANOS: THE HANDS OF FATE!
Every frame looks like somebody’s last known photo…
You never had a dog!
Who can forget:
The Haunting Torgo theme?
Tom’s mile-a-minute mall chick monologue near the end?
The Eternal Kissing Couple?
God, I miss Turkey Day…
Manos (of course)
Fugitive Alien – He tried to kill me with a forklift!
Warrior of the Lost World – Megaweapon! Megaweapon!
Pod People – Little wingèd potatoes.
Oh, an easy choice: “Cave Dwellers.” Not as Painful as “Manos,” but still just plain bad.
“Oh no, the fog is obscuring the action!” “What action?”
Second place goes to “Mitchell:”
“Hey, the chase scene’s chase car has arrived.”
<<<The Beatniks (“If you’re wearing a Girl Scout kerchief, you’re not a beatnik!”)>>>>
Tom Servo: They’re not Beatniks! They’re not even Boatniks!
The Skydivers (Coleman Francis’ masterpiece):
Crow: Whoever edited this had attention deficit syndrome!
This has to be “Batz”. Yes, I’m embarrassed that I even saw this, but it was such a slight step above MST3K material. I found myself keeping up a constant patter.
My favorite one done was the one with the giant spider. When the main couple throw themselves tumbling down the hill when the spider is nowhere near them: “There it is–I just last my last thread of dignity”.
I concur.
“Didn’t get the Sampo, la la la. What a LOSER, la la la.”
“Let’s see, are you with the bride or the LOSER?”
“Hey, look, they’re roasting Bullwinkle!” (“When log flume rides go horribly wrong.”)
So many more…
Heh heh.
“What’s a sampo?”
“Maybe it’s a strapless red evening gown.”
“You think EVERYTHING’S a strapless red evening gown.”
Also, the “You failed!” square dance.
Manos, of course
Jack Frost: “Everytime I meet a man he’s either gay or a bear!”
The Final Sacrifice: “Rowsdower!”
Eeega: “Watch out for snakes!” “Rooxieee…”
Space Mutiny: “Calgone, blow me away!” “It’s so nice of you to let the dead woman have a second chance, sir.”
Overdrawn at the Memory Bank: “Mum? 'M nuts?” (He’s saying am I nuts-but it sounds like he’s saying, My nuts?)
Riding with Death: “I am Turkey Volume Guessing Man!”
Time Chasers: “Look, he’s trying to get honey like Pooh.” “Yeah, he’s like Pooh all right…”
Movie that should be MSTied? Um…how about anything starring Jennifer Love Screwitt, or Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves?
I can’t believe no one has mentioned “Catalina Caper” yet. And “Gamera vs. Guiron”. “That’s Cathy Rigby in that suit.”
I can never remember which movie it’s from, but my favorite joke is the one Tom and Crow tell about Igmar Bergmann and the pier (or some such). How to tell when the pier ends? Just count the slits.
WARNING SPOILER
When you’re out of slits, you’re out of pier.
It kills me every time.
Definitely Mitchell.
I actually prefer the shorts to the movies, though. Particularly the corny school ones, or the drivers’ education ones.
My fave was ‘This Island Earth’, followed by ‘Mitchell’.
Sooner or later, the guys have to get back together to do ‘Mission to Mars’!
Yes, of course I’m talking about “PUMA-MAN”.
Please God, find this movie and watch it. Do it for the kids, do it for the country, do it for LOVE.
Thanks for listening,
blast
“Pumaman…he flies like a moron!”
I just got the Shorts VOL 2. The most depressing one was Days of Our Years…what a downer! Mike and the 'Bots made it worth while, though!
The best short was A Date With Your Family…and Why Study Industrial Arts!
They need to do a MST3k on Star Wars: Episode 1
A friend of mine did a MSTing on that…I could send it to you, if you like!
Mitchell!
The Amazing Melting Man
The Invasion of the Eye Creatures
Pumaman
Angel’s Revenge
Lazerblast (My God, that one was hilarious)
Agent from H.A.R.M
Oh, hell, I like them all!!
Ooh, I love MST3K. Here are some of my favorites in my collection:
The Day The Earth Froze (I think the first one I taped, and a classic for me. If I can’t find something in the supermarket: “Where is the SAMPO!?”)
Cave Dwellers
Pod People
I Accuse My Parents (running joke with my Dad: “It’s my birthday!” “That’s nice, son, here’s twenty dollars.” Of course, when I tried this on my actual birthday, he forgot the reference completely…)
Red Zone Cuba (I honestly think this was the least tolerable movie I’d ever seen. Even with Mike and the 'Bots, it put me to sleep.)
Bloodlust
Manos: The Hands of Fate (My second favorite classic.)
The Sidehackers
The Wild, Wild World of Batwoman
The Gunslinger
12 To The Moon
Warrior of the Lost World (with, um, you know, that guy from Paper Chase! :))
Mitchell (“Mittens? An action hero named Mittens?” “Baby oil!? NOOOOOOOOO!!!”)
Brute Man
Night of the Bloodbeast (“Shrimpies!”)
…And there’s more downstairs.
Irwin Allen’s The Swarm.
I saw this abomination on cable for the first time a couple of months ago. I was watching it glassy-eyed with a rope of drool hanging from my lips, not believing that ANYONE could get so many stars together to destroy their careers en masse; when my wife who is no lover of the show, walks in, stares at the screen and says,“This movie was born to be on Mystery Science theater!”